Tracy Jr was the star of the show.

I like how Paulina snarkily compared her to a hungover Olsen twin, as if hungover Olsen twins don't start entire fashion trends just by wearing ridiculous crap to Starbucks. Hungover Olsen twin is what she should be shooting for!

Fire of a Thousand Sounds will be the title of Lambert's debut CD when he somehow manages to win this thing.

How else is a chef supposed to know if his Hot Pocket is al dente?

Wow, Sensei, no shit. Awesome.

Well, you never know who's gonna hold up that well for 20 years! S4's beard threw me off by resembling my dad's entirely too much, so I was unprepared.

Aha! Your Freudian typo reveals your prejudice!

There there, you all win heaping tablespoons of internets. That musician/Looking Glass thing has to fit in here somewhere and that's a pretty cool place to start.

Yeah, you miss a lot that way with this show. It's really very visually beautiful, especially lately. There are only a handful of shows I actually sit and watch without doing other random crap at the same time, and this is #1.

Alex, I encourage you to try "that's what the girl said at the picnic." It does essentially the same thing but also implies a punchline to an imaginary joke. Go ahead. Try it. The more you do it, the better it feels. And that, my friend, is what the girl said at the picnic.

I'm not sure I especially care one way or another how the producers feel. It's cool and engaging and entertaining and one of the few things I actively look forward to watching. So I'm good.

Would this be before or after Cute Lil' Ben started having his chats with Batmanuel in the woods? Maybe he's already a Hostile and will help Sayid escape if he thinks he's one of them?

I loved that too, and I acquired by legitimate means the George Michael version right afterwards. I'd actually forgotten that was her. She meant bidness, you aren't kidding, I barely recognized it at first. Pretty awesome performance, and eerily topical.

Batmanuel AND Rose and Bernard all in one go? Yeah, I'm on board with that.

They love each other. It's one of my favorite things to watch. And Ryan Seacrest, ringmaster of this clusterfuck of a talent show, earns every penny of his astronomical salary if you ask me. (Note: you didn't ask me.)

Another show could get away with an errant crew member (fucking distracting!) but surely the Lost folks know that zillions of people spend hours and hours searching every episode exhaustively for exactly this sort of thing, right? Or is that why they let it slide? They like to fuck with us.

Also, he got laid a couple of days ago. That's why Sawyer was always so much less annoying, was because he tended to get laid regularly.

Carrie Underwood
I thought she sounded freaking fantastic. What a lovely song. It's got me all nostalgic for that summer I spent working for that crazy terrible woman in that horrible restaurant that played country radio all day long and I learned all the words to Randy Travis songs and Clint Black songs whether I…

They all come equipped with breasts of some kind. Hers were just poured delightfully into that prom dress in such a way as to merit some kind of special mention.

Ah, Drunk Asshole Hotel. Would we have Tool Academy, or Bret Michaels "Rock of Love and also Crabs" Tour Bus, without Drunk Asshole Hotel to pave the way? I think not. Bret Michaels should thank those drunk assholes for three seasons of absurd theater and sad, sad blowjobs.