I've got my own theory on why nobody cares about this movie, judging entirely by the trailers.
1) It looks like ten other movies that nobody really liked that much.
You've got a mismatch of stuff we've seen before, from the "street-fighting" scene lifted from Richie's own version of Sherlock Holmes to the blue-gray…

The first PotC movie actually had a pretty damned clever plot, which is why that movie alone actually holds up. You've got a bunch of characters with straightforward but conflicting goals, and Jack Sparrow in the middle of them. Everybody in the damned movie hates him with a passion, but he manipulates circumstances…

Well, yeah, I do to. Because he's pretty forgettable in this movie.

I didn't even like it in Domino. Or, for that matter, the several movies he made with Denzel. To me, it was like he was always trying to turn a solid, interesting film with good performances into a two hour music video that was all about style and not at all about story or character. It's the kind of thing you might…

Oh no, that's exactly it. We heard it for the first time and knew EXACTLY how huge it would be. It was obvious, and the one and only time we were all right about something like that.

Eh, I can't buy that. "Brad Pitt and Robert Redford as different generations of spies" could've gotten made by any asshole off the street. Tony Scott was just too far up his own asshole by that point. There couldn't be a simple, quiet, actor-driven moment anymore, it all had to be ultra-stylized, whip-around,…

That's what made "Identity" work. And also what made all the sequels not so great.

I remember being on a road trip with some friends the first time I heard "Smooth". My buddies and I looked at each other and said something to the effect of, "Holy shit, that song's going to be fucking HUGE. A year from now, we'll all be sick to shit of it."

I wouldn't call it mean-spirited, though I kinda get where that comes from. I think it's clearly trying for that classic noir vibe, where there are no real heroes and everyone is just working their own agenda. It doesn't really work, though, so instead of morally ambiguous it's just kind of a mess.

Who's also convinced he's the illegitimate offspring of Elvis.

Yup, as the world's worst mom who constantly rips off Kurt Russell.

The fight sequences in Identity are incredibly coherent and brutal, which is more than I can say for most movies. That apartment fight scene is still one of the best I've seen.

God, I really wanted to like that movie. But yeah, it's pretty bad. Still, Kurt Russell robbing a casino with Kevin Costner, Christian Slater, David Arquette, and Bokeem Woodbine while dressed as Elvis impersonators was unbelievably awesome.

Spy Game was the movie where I decided Tony Scott kinda sucked. That movie was so unnecessarily bombastic with its obsession with whip-around camera work and typing on the screen and overwhelming music cues that it completely buried what should have been a slow-burning, character-driven movie with two of the biggest…

I saw that one in the theater. It was a deeply confusing experience. The action hero fan in me just could not get the smarter but less fun sci-fi nerd in me to shut up about the massive stupidity of the core concept.

Just ignore the stupid part. Which was the entire last season. Kinda like how "Superman Returns" was a pretty explicit sequel to "Superman 2" and just ignored the ones with Richard Pryor and Nuclear-Man.

It's still not a reboot if they're doing what I assume, which is just ignoring the stupid part (whole last season) with some throwaway line. That'd be a retcon. Kinda like how the last episode retconned the whole series.

If all the original cast is coming back and playing the same roles it is, by definition, NOT a reboot.
It's a continuation or a sequel or something, but not a reboot. It'd be like saying, "We're rebooting the Avengers! The next movie is starring Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and Scarlett Johansson,…

*Singing* "Trinette and Archer's - Day of FUN! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA—HAAAAAA!"

Just . . . don't slice towards your hand. Don't stab towards your hand. The dude in the video isn't even doing it safely. The sharp part doesn't point at or move towards a part of you you want to keep.