"Using terrorists as villains tends to be lazy writing . . ." I'd amend that to say MIDDLE-EASTERN terrorists is lazy writing. In both cases it's true, but it was also a useful shorthand post-Berlin Wall. Especially in movies where the villains weren't what the movie was really about. There was a struggle in the 90s…

It's also fuckin' weird in a way that doesn't really work for a movie, and the final twist is basically a punch-line.

So you're saying that what worked with the original Robocop was its subtlety?

God bless Billy Idol's broken leg for giving us that video.

I can't help but love the balding, mulleted Superman from the Superman Lives poster. It's as if Clark Kent grew up in actual backwater Kansas, (Bud Light, four wheelers, Ted Nugent, spousal abuse, and meth) instead of the idealized backwater Kansas that's all home cooking and down-home morality.

Reptile was even weirder than that, a shitty CG lizard that spied on Liu Kang and was thrown into the chest cavity of a desiccated ninja corpse, which then enclosed him and turned into Reptile.

Mars doesn't have much of a magnetosphere, but that would just mean it would lose some of the atmosphere created. It's a two steps forward, one step back thing. The real problem is that it would eventually run out of water from the atmospheric leaching, but we'd have several centuries to figure out how to redirect a…

Ohh, let me get this straight, you can buy a car that has Star Wars floor mats AND decals? Wow, until this very moment those are things that have never been available for a car!!!

YES! That was one weird little beautifully crafted moment that's completely separate from the rest of the movie. I'd be happy watching a whole movie about that homeless guy and his recipes for river rat.

I love the shit out of that movie. It's just so beautifully, pointlessly violent, with only the thinnest of explanations (a comet causes all machines to turn on people and try to murder them, for no apparent reason) peopled with absurd caricatures, broad acting, and Yeardley Smith as a newlywed. It's glorious.

Well yeah, but then you can toss out all of Stone's "we're saying something IMPORTANT here PEOPLE!!" moralizing, because it's clearly all fiction with no relation to actual football. I don't mind a dumb fun sports movie that gets everything wrong. I do mind one that acts like it's saying something relevant about a…

Eh, not so sure about that. Today, absolutely. Even fifteen or twenty years ago, sure. But Rocky was in '76, stuff like "concussions" and "permanent disability" were just for wussies who weren't tough enough to take a billion punches to the head. The fights themselves, yeah, (in all the movies) are kinda silly since…

Yeah, I know. diarrhea of the keyboard, and all that.

That's where we disagree. The core story is absurd, for one thing. Willie Beaman reacts to getting his shot at starting a pro game like somebody picked out of the stands, not someone who had been the best of the best at his high school and college. Which is what everyone who makes it to the NFL is, backups don't make…

Apparently it has something to do with naturally diffusing scents, so you don't need air freshener. I'm kinda curious what kinda weak-ass gas they think can be taken care of with a rock.

Yeah, I don't really know how fancy I need my surroundings to be when I'm polluting the world with war-crimes levels of beer and Super Nachos digestion. The article states that the offset ceramic rock acts as a "natural diffuser of scents". That's hilarious. Ain't no rock exists that can handle the terrifying funk…

I was puzzled about that myself, turns out the GPS is in the bike-lock-holder, that places the lock where a rear carrying rack goes.

I seem to remember a film imagining a future where three seashells were involved. Also, all restaurants were Taco Bell. I think it was called, "The Future is All Diarrhea."

Sure, it'll be a whole new sport, just install a giant slip-n-slide in the middle of the field.
Another awesome thing about this movie . . . apparently there's no such thing as "home" and "away" uniforms (contributing to the hilariously awful color schemes). Guess Stone's target audience would get confused if the…

Flipping through the football parts of the movie on YouTube (it's all on there), exactly two plays are recognizable, run up the middle from the I formation, and . . . some kinda passing play. It wouldn't be that hard to make a football movie where the football makes some kind of sense, but instead Stone decided to…