X-Men 3 being the darkest timeline.

". . . we might chastise our partner for doing something generous because it inconveniences us."
Nope. Nope, nope, nope. First off, it wasn't generous. Cam wanted to keep his star player, otherwise he wouldn't have given a shit (literally ANY other kid on that field would've been sent off with a pat on the back.)…

That's a substantial issue with this show. Actual people change and grow with time, but the kids on this show have been crammed into the same increasingly cramped boxes for 7 fucking years. Bud Bundy was given more character development.

And when your done, give those eyes back to the kid you took them from.

Oh, Christ, yeah, I remember my cousin telling me that one. And I remember laughing at it. Because kids are fucking awful creatures.

That's why the gospels skip from infancy to, like, 30 years old. 12 year old Jesus being a raging prick wouldn't have been very Christ-like.

Wow, Hulk Hogan looks WEIRD in that wig.

Aside from what I can now see was a horribly exploitative paper delivery job, McDonald's was my first REAL real job. The grease was invasive to the point where my mom wouldn't allow my uniform in the laundry with any other clothes. I had my first cigarette and my first slug of bad whiskey in the break room. The shift…

All out of the back of his bitchin' Camaro.

Currently, he's watching Dr. Strangelove. He thinks it's a how-to guide.

Christ, that's a "Friends" joke. Even Trump's lies are plagiarized.
"What does Rachel tell people her favorite movie is?"
"Citizen Kane!"
"What is her actual favorite movie?"
"Weekend at Bernie's!"

What, exactly, is the difference between shooting in a "mock first person" and just shooting in first person?

They also did the "Blackout Thursday" when all the sitcoms set in NY all had a blackout at the same time because of something that happened on Mad About You.

C'mon, you know the fiddle music will be replaced with The Dropkick Murphys by the second episode.

It also existed during that sliver of time when there were apparently all these do-gooding private foundations with independent financing that supported random "help people out" missions. Also see: Knight Rider and the Foundation for Law and Government.

"instead of actually paying attention to the original characters and story and seeing why people liked it." To be fair, the original "story" was nonsense and was changed at least twice during the show.
But yeah, watching the reboot now, and it's fucking dire. They even tossed in "Fortunate Son" for absolutely no…

Yeah, the voiceover was huge . . . mostly because MacGyver rarely had anyone else around to talk to. He'd talk through whatever little gadget he had to build so that the audience could understand. Now that MacGyver's part of a team and they do fancy onscreen graphics for everything, the voiceover comes across as…

"George Takei before he was famous!"
I haven't looked it up, or anything, but I'm reasonably certain the original Star Trek series and three or four movies were around before MacGyver.

There were lots of those in the 80's action/adventure shows. I distinctly remember a Knight Rider episode or two when Michael and KITT became supporting characters to some crushingly dull secret agents. Little kid me was deeply pissed that my favorite show had been hijacked by people who didn't have a talking Trans Am.

This show reminds me a WHOLE lot of the misguided Knight Rider remake from a few years back, right down to the employer/plot instigator going from "vague do-gooder private foundation" to "shadowy government agency".