For it to be in a 60s cookbook, it would all have to be suspended in gelatin.

Ketchup is just overpowering, to the point that doing much else is pointless. But yeah, a cheap-ass hot dog with a slice of plastic American and some ketchup was my version of "cooking dinner" when I was 10, and sometimes you want that bit of food comfort nostalgia.

I've been doing garlic naan bread pizzas. Easy even for the extremely drunk, and as cheap and fast or faster than frozen pizza. Pre-packaged garlic naan bread, butter the edge, smother in sauce, cheese, and whatever else happens to lying around (jalapenos, mushrooms, bacon bits, sandwich meats, etc). Pile it high and…

That's the problem, the food snobs have turned actual medical issues into trendy status symbols . . . as if having an allergy is some sort of weird badge of specialness. Crippling stomach cramps and farts that violate the Geneva convention doesn't make you a beautiful snowflake.

It's fine if you want your steak well-done and smothered in ketchup or A1, just don't do it with an 80 dollar filet or other really, really nice cut of meat. It's just a waste, since you're not going to taste the steak anyway. Just go to Outback or Ponderosa or something and save your money. I like chicken-fried steak…

Depends on the oven. The preheating on mine actually super-heats the oven until it gets to the right temperature, which would fuck things all up.

You also must take time into account. Delivery tends to take about an hour, I can be stuffing my face with frozen pizza in 25 minutes.

That's my go-to, unless I'm gonna do something weird and get the Edwardo's deep dish.

I would have to add Pickled Herring to the list of unacceptable drunk foods. I used to have a roommate who LOVED that grotesque shit when he was drunk. The smell was unbearable.

Yeah, overdone pizza rolls with less flavor. Not great. My latest drunken obsession is deep fried Mac & Cheese. Amazing drunken deliciousness.

Huh. I've got a heating gun I use to strip paint off of woodwork, I wonder if I can just use that next time I want a quick frozen pizza.

I've put mine on the grill. Works great.

Yup, I've wrecked my fair share. I've also fallen asleep before delivery arrived enough times to be banned from some restaurants.

Yup, Bruce was too "gay" for the TV show. If they'd been all squeamish about that a few years earlier, we'd have been hearing about millionaire playboy Gothamite David Wayne. His ward would still be named "Dick" for some reason.

That Rambo cartoon is great in an utterly insane way. https://www.youtube.com/wat… From the piss-poor animation, to the weirdly distracting genericness of Rambo's voice actor who can't seem to decide between impersonating Stallone or "Action Hero GI Joe Guy", to how Rambo just kind hangs around shirtess all the time,…

I think this gets pretty close: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

To this day, my mom's convinced that my dad allowing me to see that movie is why my mind is warped.

It's crime fighting time.

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

They were putting on a production of Rocky Horror.