CICERO LIPSCHITZ

He drops his pants at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser, because even he gets boarded sometimes.

What interest does the European Union have in this?
…oh

I can report with great dissapointment that Wikipedia does not have any of this information.

The widow paying for it is a bit crass. She'd be better off giving the money to some educational institution. The city, though, that makes sense.

Now putting Rocky at the top of the Philadelphia Museum of Art doesn't feel so depressing! Detroit: Making Your City Look Good (TM).

Fun fact: in olden times, drunknness used to be a complete defense to criminal behavior.

Let me guess, "addicts" are the poor victimized rich white people?

And another thing: This will get 1000% worse when babies are involved. We don't have any yet, but I'm getting preemptively angry at the derisive chuckles that will surely come my way. Because there's nothing a new parent wants more than unsolicited childrearing advice from a near-stranger. HOW ARE YOU SLEEPING HEH HEH…

Throw in an end title about how Miles' music sold more copies than the Beatles, Elvis and Johnny Cash combined, changed music so much that all contemporaries just kiled themselves in concessions of defeat, and was instrumental to resolving the Iran Contra crisis, and you're all set.

F'real. His powers come from spotted mushrooms, wierd flowers, and random leaves. He turns into a fucking FLYING RACCOON. If Nintendo ever decides to shutter the series, the ending will just be Mario waking up in the last scene of Requiem for a Dream.

I'll see you when the first 100-hour RPG comes out. NOT BEFORE.

Tosh is at least good for YouTube videos you don't want to search for yourself. Jeselnik is clearly just some handsome asshole meant to vindicate your secret douchbaggery.

If you guys want a spirit clone of Scubs just watch Raising Hope.

"Let's get out of here!"
"To where, exactly?"
UH OH CAUGHT BY THE BOSS. RIOTOUS LAUGHTER.

The promos make this look insufferable. The highlighted jokes are the definition of unfunny. Making the hook be "It's the guy from Pitch Perfect!!" just makes me think of theater dweebs who genuinely love Pitch Perfect with no hint of irony or camp. I like that McGinley is getting work, but I also like that Nathan…

It's not like Rocky, where he was a million-to-one shot and had to condition himself, physically and emotionally, to prove to the world he could go the distance. Or even in Cool Runnings, where some unlikely competitors show how pride can persevere in the face of failure. In Rudy, one old guy makes one no-cost…

My MIL got pissed that she wasn't getting enough attention.

It was also grand that the main offender was a guy clearly trying to convince himself that his first marriage failed not because he's an asshole who works too much (i.e. the truth), but because wimmenz are teh wurst.

Also the constant downpour of "Are you nervous?" bullshit, with a little knowing smile that no bro ACTUALLY wants to get married, amirite? No, I'm not nervous about getting married. I'm worried about the florist showing up on time and the weather for my outdoor ceremony. I'm worried that the booze will run out or the…