I, on the other hand, hope to die well before the planet becomes so overpopulated that it is literally covered with human excrement.

Actually, that 0.0000001 did die. Quite horribly, if I remember correctly.

I am a lawyer. At least once per day I think, "What the hell do the laws of one state of one country on one infant planet matter to the infinite cosmos?". Then I cry.

I’ve always harbored a curiosity as to how one can really know whether one is “cis” or “trans”. Gender is a social construct, more or less, right? Yes, it’s based in how you feel, but it’s measured by the alignment of your feelings with society’s traditional expectations. But can that misalignment be felt innately?…

KLINE NEEDS HOOKERS
DENTAL DAM

Most of HDB's life sounds like it was cribbed from a banner ad on YouPorn.

I love you, Eddie!

They keep asking this on Gameological too. Next month (i.e. tomorrow?), aparently.
I welcome it, as my work computer blocks it by virture of the "game" in the web address.

I read this in the voice of Hervé Villechaize.

First you take a Twinkie, stuff it with some jack cheese, roll it in a pizza, you got Twinkie Blasters!
Then the kids say "Thanks, Twinkie the Kid!". And then Twinkie the Kid flies off on his skateboard.

Over/under on number of times she says "vagina": 83. I'll take the over.

Shit, now I have to listen to Goldfinger on the walk home. "That looks like a tube of cookie dough!"

Goldfinger was my first live show ever, all the way back in 2000. I was a huge fan until Charlie left and they let their vegan propaganda side loose.
I saw Reel Big Fish once as well, but I was always drawn to "harder" ska like (early) Catch-22.

Surprise! You have a 9-year-old brother now.

No go, they're all stuck together.

I never kept any kind of journal. Why would I want to memorialize all those voices in my head?

Taking on the legal obligation to hang out with a girl for the rest of your life is, like, the gayest thing you can do.

"Just dozens of people." This movie stands to make up to $36,000!!!

Homosexual conspiracy.

Lou Reed dying certainly triggered most of my Facebook feed to become longtime fans of Velvet Underground, despite having never spoken of or listened to them in anyone's presence ever.