I was such a good kid I didn't even have a curfew. My parents were utterly convinced I wouldn't get in trouble.

The worst thing I ever did was break into the pool where I was a lifeguard in the middle of the night ("break in" = "I was with my friend/boss who had the key") and go down the water slides in pitch darkness.

Are they those friends that you miss, but you know it was a good thing that you broke away? I definitely have those.

Jersey had laminated paper licenses as late as 2007. In college people went to the guy who made the good Jersey fakes like he was some kind of mysterious master craftsman. You'd go to him with your 50 bucks, and he would silently take your picture and assemble the ID without acknowledging you, as if you were hardly…

Also Dobby, Hedwig, Mad-Eye Moody, Sirius. You can't disqualify mentors just because that's a convention of the genre. Cedric Diggory definitely was forgettable, though.

I will never forgive her for Fred Weasley.

What!? I'll have you know I define myself by my chosen consumer gadget, sir, and that is the Galaxy. The iPhone constricts my creativity and identity because I cannot customize the unlock screen.

I keep trying to develop an appreciation for rap as a cultural touchstone, but I just do not understand the appeal from an artistic (i.e., not purely image-based) perspective. I've found very few rap acts which have actually produced enjoyable music, and they have always leaned more towards the R&B side of the…

Related: a joke!

He killed Mal, what, twice during that one season? Imagine how many times he would have gone back to that well.

The third season was pretty good.

Sorkin also thinks you should to go to journalism school and write for McSweeney's before you're allowed to think thoughts worth thinking about. That's why he hates the internet…it doesn't screen any thoughts.

Both of the above replies are true. We were taught that the only thing that really mattered was the approval of our superiors. We could be anything we wanted to be, as long as it was a highly-educated, highly-paid professional who Dad could be proud of. As a result, we have no internal motivation, nor any sense of…

Because they are not americans?

I've never even heard of this show! Which is why I clicked the link and wrote a comment telling you as much.

When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a while bunch of sonnets

Fuck off, traitor.

Reagan did a lot of bad things, but the worst thing he did was Scalia.

That line was even in the bumpers! Literally no one involved in that show had ever listened to a weather report, I guess.

Think of America as a house. The Greatest Generation paid off the mortgage and cleaned up the neighborhood. Everything was awesome. The Boomers inherited the house, and, to celebrate the "accomplishment" of becoming homeowners, threw a 40-year-long coke-fueled rager. To get more coke they took out another mortgage,…