Objectivism (not Ayn Rand)
To me, it seems the question is whether there is any sort of objective measure of a good song. Not "do you like it," or "does it speak to you," but "is it GOOD"? I would claim there is, of a sort: A song with lyrics good enough to be read as poetry more-or-less without modification, and with…

Jones, the new Night?
Not that I would rate this as low as "Unbreakable," but I do wonder if Jones is the new wunderkund, the same way Shyamalan once was. First film = slow, haunting, genre-bender; second = trains, a bit of mystery, surprisingly more tedious. If the parallels hold true, Jones' third picture should be…

Never
A small percentage of All Films Ever should never be remade, barring utterly transformative global experiences (like, say, everyone becoming robots). While I think both 12 Monkeys and Brazil — especially Brazil — are significantly better than Time Bandits, all three fall within this category. What could possibly…

Jumper, I say
Once again, a bad film but an excellent power: Quite apart from being able to avoid plane fare and airport security, how about the certainty you could always immediately leave a dangerous situation? Un-belayed rock climbing in Bolivia? Bring it on!