This happens everytime around this time of the month.

Maybe, and stay with me here, it's a gun that shoots UNICORNS! What? Stop crying! I meant that, oh nevermind.

Why is Fiddy so angry?

Maybe she'll hawk her own brand of fruit leather.

Animal House?

During the period Mick Jagger and Jason Bieber come out too?

I'll have it narrated by Peter Graves, thankyouverymuch!

Think of all the angels you're KILLING!

Will you be taking your cadre of ever-smaller horses?

It's my hope that the third one is written by the Coen brothers while they're in a bad mood.

Was I the only one who read this as:
"Women be coordinatin' their activities around Sex & The City 2, right, Dick WRESTLING"?

Jesus disavows any knowledge of this.

It's supposed to take our minds off the fact that we're dining on a Hungryman meal-for-one in front of the TV and that we wish our cats goodnight before sobbing ourselves to sleep at 9:00 p.m. on a Friday night.

I'd watch if it was throw a bunch of TVs at celebrities.

I demand a cure for pancakes!

I would feel left out because I'm too old, but somehow, I'm ok with it.

I remember when they first marketed VH1 to be the video show adults fucked to.

Screw this, I'm going for a scramble.

Waterfront was and remains awesome.

"…leaning insouciantly against his hog with an enigmatic look on his face."