I have a lot of respect for the character of Ron Swanson and I would love to project myself into his fictional realm so we could get shitfaced together around a campfire and fiercely argue about politics and history until the break of dawn. That would be a good time.

Weird. Ron and Diane's wedding was strikingly similar to mine. After I proposed to the Lovely Mrs Fastandsloppy I said I would prefer not to have a big wedding, she agreed, saying she wanted it as small a possible, in fact she said she wouldn't mind just going out and doing it right now. According to my wife the look…

I thought it was obvious I was joking.

Whenever I hear an actress was in the Broadway production of Hair I automatically start imagining them up on stage nude. This particular time, that's really awkward.

Then maybe we should check with Mr. Broadway.

I don't think so. Although that would make sense.

Hey, that is actually a magician I've seen live. Actually that is the only magician I've seen live.

Someone needs to bring back that Houdini hairstyle. Not me. Someone else.

How about a show about a gifted database programmer. The twist? He was trained as a C programmer!

On Showtime: Dextertective, he's a detective that only detects other detectives!

Answer to the question, "Quick, name a magician!"

Sorry, I just can't tear myself away from TheDevilIsASissy.com

On the first day of Twerkmas Miley Cyrus showed to me
masturbation on my Tee Vee

Christmas is only 90 days away, people!

1. What're gonna do with all that junk?
2. All that junk down in your trunk?
3. I'm gonna get, get, get you drunk.
4. get you drunk on my lumps
5. My lumps
6. My lumps
7. My lumps

@avclub-0304234e5dac07d007cf06c22b3f29c4:disqus - don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault.

yes. You should feel bad.

Now we know who's the boss!

Walking Dead Mistresses

Did you say, "Mattresses"?