nine out of ten homeless rickshaw businesses fail in the first year.

Scrodinger either did it or didn't. It's impossible to tell.

"I killed Mrs. Claus and all of the elves!"
"Fa la la la la la la la la!"

look…. closelier

uhh,,, they have plenty of revenue. they have the 6th highest payroll in baseball this year. Money isn't the problem with the Cubs.

Right? O waaaaa we only won the world series twice in the last decade

I enjoy Citi field. The food is good and the fans are all bitter sarcastic assholes.

Uh, rendo pordo curdo mumble barda Rico Suave.

Ah, yes. Gharr-dhaak!

Koothay! Kaminay! Soon kayva jay!

An ancient play, one of the oldest we have, about a simple man who was horrifically punished by the powers that be for the terrible crime of trying to bring light to the common people. In the words of Eskllius, "No good deed goes unpunished." I cannot tell you how much consolation I find in these slim pages.

Can i at least have my shirts back?

YOU CAN DO EEET!

How wude!

CUT! Let's try it again.

Shit was unseemly, yo.

The phony pope can be identified by his high top sneakers, and incredibly foul mouth.

I've always heard Melvina instead of Regina in that joke.

You've got to tell me about thish Penish Mightier, Alex

Ever flown internationally through Houston Intercontinental? On the way to Customs you pass through this atrium that looks like a huge robot vagina.