Have you been sleeping for the past 2 years? If so, oh boy, sit down. I have some terrible news.

If he's alive or hasn't quit yet I have little doubt he'll be re-elected. It takes voters 8 years to admit they've made a mistake.

If that's not the name of a Veggie burger restaurant in DC in the next 6 months I have no hope for humanity.

And this is an article about a man that has a $110k SAG Pension.

But isn't her other dad Bernie Sanders? Or am I just mixing up reality and my political slash fiction again?

I'm not saying it's my preference, but at least it's something entertaining while the ship goes down.

I contributed to the conspiracy Kickstarter but haven't received my limited edition white hood yet. Who do I speak to about correcting this?

I dunno, their stupidity is the one thing that lets me get out of bed in the morning and gives me some semblance of hope. If they had even a slight clue what they were doing the Muslim Re-education camps would already be fully operational. Instead, I get to wonder what random thing Joe scarborough says will be the one…

Donald Trump JR?! You stupid libtard, I can't believe you fell for that. Like there could ever be anyone glorious enough to properly honor that divine name. Donald Trump Jr is the name of Hillary Clinton's fake publicist, and everyone knows it.

Do any of us doubt his dad will pardon him, like, immediately?

That's not quite the same thing. If Breitbart somehow had awesome coverage of, I don't know, baseball or something, I'd understand why everyone looked at me weird when I tried telling the world how great that one section of it was.

I don't think I'm racist, but I have no problem voting for racist people and policies if there's even a chance my paycheck will be 0.5% bigger. Am I a traitor to my race for not attending more lynchings?

That is a blind defense. Every fucking thing he does they "can't defend," but justify him over someone else that would be worse for reasons. If everything he does can't be defended, maybe stop defending him. They think it's their get out of jail free card for supporting a vile person.

I Am Willing To Sell Out Almost Any Belief I Profess To Hold If I Can Get My Piece of Shit Boss A Tax Cut, AMA

They could have just brought in a flash card that had the letter R circled and a big smiley face next to it.

I don't know any. I don't want Christians forcing their book on anyone else, but if they want to read their stories in peace and leave everyone else alone, player play on.

They think they understand a rule book from thousands of years ago that tells you who's a better human than who. They proudly don't view all of humanity as equal.

To understand basic humanity?

Reddit is like pure essence of the Internet. Sure, there might be good stuff on there. But the worst is the stuff of nightmares.

I know that eventually Kinja is going to take over, but I'm not throwing in the towel until I'm grayed out and buried under mountains of Load More buttons, god dammit!