My sophomore year they opened a new high school in my district, and we were the first graduating class. This meant that we were the upperclassmen for the entire time we were there. The first year the school was opened, in an attempt to instill some school spirit with a class that was taken out of a more traditional,…

You really only have yourself to blame for thinking even that would be true.

They continued to vote against their own best interests, resulting in the dismantling of labor unions and a falling salary, all because they were still pissed about the civil rights act?

I feel like you do understand why someone might have a problem giving your unqualified children important jobs in government, essentially establishing a royal line, as that is something we fought a war about a few hundred years ago.

Spending millions to protect an immigrant from Donald Trump is the most compassionate thing this country has done this year.

All of his children besides Ivanka do look like the product of incestuous royalty, however.

Every morning I think how great of a TV show the morning news has become, until I remember it's real life.

"Shh! Don't tell him about me!" - Tiffany Trump

That's hard when the only words you know are "huge," "SAD!," "nuclear," "China," and "failing."

I hope that's not dumb, because I had the exact same thoughts.

Every morning I remember it's real. And every morning the first thing I say out loud if "oh fuck."

If he would just shut the fuck up he'd probably be pretty damn close to a 50% approval rating. For as smart as he claims he is, you'd think he'd catch on.

No! Not at all. I was sincere that I want you this to be your wacky catchphrase that gets the full merchandising treatment. I'd gladly spend $30 on a shirt with your dicknose and a wordbubble saying "Donald Trump probably sucks Kushner's dick so he can taste Ivanka's pussy!"

Best Kushner could hope for is 80s teen movie villain that loses his girlfriend and his mountain in a downhill ski race.

What's hard for people to understand, and what I still don't fully grasp, is just how fucking much the working poor hate the poor poor. They believe there is some unknown, probably black or brown, person, sitting in some big city, not working, and collecting thousands in benefits. Meanwhile, they're working their ass…

I know you've used this joke before, but I'd fully support this being your new wacky catchphrase.

He was in talks to buy the Miami Marlins, which is only slightly better than being in prison.

Follow the money, maaaaan!

They may not be critically beloved, but those franchises all have a pretty big audience that's showed up for decades to watch them. I don't think most people have thought about Avatar more than a week after seeing it.

Maybe split the difference and go with Milennialz?