Dude, they all want to bang you. Just go with it.

Ben & Kate, you heartless ghoul!

At least he's finally paying someone for their work.

"I'd jerk off on live TV if Trump told me to."

I'm honestly surprised he hasn't tweeted out a picture of his D yet. I'd have bet good money that would have happened at some point early in the primaries.

I pay $8.99 for my Spotify.

The linked Pitchfork article was much clearer. For one, it's actually $5 a week, not per month. And there is a specific registration process to get both, and you can't already be a subscriber to either service.

The cursed Billy Goat from Chicago was looking for a new gig this year…

I don't mind the government helping me and my friends. But for some reason I don't trust all of those…urbans.

I do laugh at most news headlines now, just because it's better than the alternative of actually thinking about the state of world and sobbing uncontrollably.

I still buy any music I love. Lots of the time I even use Spotify for music I already own, because it's much easier to just download it to my phone directly from the app than to try to transfer something from my computer. But now I'm able to sample pretty much every new release that sounds interesting before investing…

Thanks! Did not know I had that waiting for me.

Because it's a large collection of black people?

Decades of wage stagnation is what led rural voters to fuck themselves. Seth Meyers is the one that motivated Trump to be the fucker.

"Was just informed that thousands of Muslim refugees have no home. Fabulous!"

That gives him way too much credit. He was bored at the security briefing and needed something to play with.

If you liked The Young Pope, you'll love The Fucking President! Coming this fall to Cinemax!

Well, she does get to live hundreds of miles away from him now.

The best thing they did was not roll back civil rights. That's their grand, open minded claim to fame. They didn't do something actively destructive. Which, to be fair, is quite great for this administration.

I do think the AV Club would be better served to just have a politics, or Today in Trump, section. Then, yes, I think they would be justified in reporting or linking to other important articles about the crisis in Syria.