I'm currently interviewing people for an opening in Toronto, and really all I want to ask them is if they ever party with Drake.

You fool, you could have talked him out of Crystal Skull!

If you are ever in central Illinois, I cannot recommend the Abraham Lincoln Museum enough. Really, it's the only reason you should ever be in Springfield, unless you are a corrupt Illinois politician looking for a payout. There's one room dedicated to all of the hate that was written and directed at Lincoln, and it's…

Good point…maybe that's their brilliant plan. It's the fly trap of the AV Club to contain it from spreading elsewhere.

http://www.theonion.com/art…

You can look for my self help seminar, on tour in select cities across the US this spring.

Let us not forget Koski. I'm like 51% sure the Dissolve exists solely so she could leave after the great Ghostbusters debacle.

Can't they just make Sam work 24 hr shifts?

Polite hatred is the creepiest and most unsettling hatred. "You're going to burn in hell, don't ya know. Here, have a nice chocolate chip cookie to pass the time until our lord and savior arrives."

I mean…have you read any of the comments in these sections? Very rarely is the bigotry hidden.

I don't think he's a Disqus arrival. I think it's everyone's favorite petulant brat that's been doing this for the last two weeks. And for some reason he doesn't understand why he was banned. But why it takes a half hour for the admins to catch up is what I don't get.

At first they would probably panic and wonder "what the fuck just happened! Holy shit I can't believe that Lesbian Comedy/Gangta Rap cruise sank for no reason and we were the only ones that survived!" But then, after a few days at sea, and Cam teaching Suge how to make fishing traps out of his Beats headphones, and…

I think we're overthinking it. Sadly, the answer is "she's a chick, and gay." If Louis CK were writing a weekly column in the same style it would be universal loved (as it would probably deserve to be).

So are neckbeards.

The weekly reading of the comments here is probably the low point of my week. It would be sad enough reading these awful things on Yahoo News, or an NPR Facebook post, but to read them here, on the sacred virtual ground of the AV Club is just fucking depressing. I realize (hope?) that many of the outright fuckwits are…

My guess is that Drew and Ruby are now dating.

You never heard Iris? Did you not step outside in the year 1998? Or Journey?!

That's blasphemous. No matter the problem, the answer is always more Jenny Slate.

- Rep. Tom Coburn - Every republican ever

When has any successful industry ever had a downfall due to failure to innovate?! This gravy train will roll on forever, just like music and real estate.