Sorry to disappoint. :-P

I love lamp.

Michael Keaton would be a VERY happy man if that were so, though…

*cut to Chris Brown putting on a pair of boxing gloves*

You do know the last Hatesong was by noted shithead Kurt Brauwhateverthefuckhisnameiser, right?

Except when he was writing as Benjy. Holy shit, was that a mess.

Or what about the time John Schrank was egged on by the ghost of Leopold II to shoot Archduke Ferdinand in Milwaukee?

You Know Nothing, Zooey Deschanel

I hope you live long enough to. :-(

Next Year, Chris Rock and Louis CK Present:
 
My Dinner with Andre 3000

Which is bullshit. While he was alive, I kept half-hoping he'd die soon so I wouldn't have to wait until I was 70 or beyond to read the damn thing.

I actually read 1984 for the first time on a Boy Scout camping trip. Holy shit, what a read.

Coming soon to Splash Mountain… it's Holographic Uncle Remus!

One of those stories better be The Ocean Full of Bowling Balls. For fuck's sake.

Never mind the chick in her underwear; what about the fat chick who showed up with the "Same Love" gang? I thought all media culture people were to be SKINNY?!

I hope you referring to, too.

Somewhat embarrassed to say I thought she was already dead. :-S

There's also the case of the wildly popular TV host who lost his job because he came out on air.

"I'm Jerry Sohl, and I don't think I like you…

I read it! But that's only because you replied to me. :-P