San Francisco only looks better than Boston because it's moved most of its race and class across the bay to Oakland, and pretends that it's a different city.

Grading system for reviews of "Interstellar":
References "2001: A Space Odyssey": -2 points.
References "Solaris": 0 points.
References literally any other cinematically-significant sci-fi movie of the 20th century: +1 point each.

For John Belushi you just cut the top off a whole pumpkin, fill it full of coke, and let it sit out in the sun for a couple weeks.

Whoever designed these knows jack shit about how to carve a jack-o-lantern. None of these patterns would actually work. Actually they're the perfect metaphor for Saturday Night Live: "we were so proud of our clever idea beforehand, but when we actually tried to do it we got nothing but a pile of rotten pumpkin…

Looks like this new Left Behind is the result of smart producers realizing that Christian Major Motion Pictures are guaranteed moneymakers, because your audience has a moral obligation to buy tickets. So you can make some cheap crap for $15 million, give most of that money to the most mercenary phone-it-in actor…

Jasons of the world, unite!

Don't worry, it comes 'round again.

Lead singer's got to find something else to do with his hands, the "surgeon scrubbing in" thing is not working.

This is what it looks like when an artist's record label throws him under the bus. "I'll admit to being an addict, I'll admit to being a musical fraud, but please, your honor, don't mess with Universal Music Group's revenue stream!"

Putin's support of the al-Assad regime *before* ISIS showed up, plus his support for anti-western governments and dictators the world over, make it clear that all he gives a shit about is opposing UN sanctions and Western power. He's done this consistently since he came to power, it's the backbone of his political…

Yeah, it's a pretty good pop song sabotaged by a singer nobody can take seriously, and a video that guarantees that nobody will ever take her seriously.

I'm no lawyer, but the smart money's on Folkmanis on this one. Well no, actually Shanghai Orlind Toy Co wins, one way or the other.

I dunno if there's room in there for a merkin.

Uh… oh, you mean to give to the *child*. I was thinking something else, nevermind.

It's an old meaning of the word "record", which was similar to "recite" or "repeat": just like today, it was used a lot for music practice for amateur musicians. But that's just in English: in most other languages, it's a kind of flute ("blockflute" in German, "beaked flute" in French, "sweet flute" in Italian.)

So my wife plays the recorder semi-professionally. (Don't laugh, Bach and Handel wrote tons of stuff for it back in the day.) Anyway, I had to play her the Miley Cyrus version so she'd get the joke, but ten seconds into the recorder version she was screaming at me to "make it stop, make it stop!"

Nah, best part is that it all happens in silhouettes.

He don't look wise…

Fifty shades of soul.

Gorillaz says you forgot "be cartoon characters".