Well, when you're stuck in traffic, you're lucky you move that fast.

Baby mamas are where it's at on television apparently.

*Dancing Itos dance in front of him.*

IT'S CALLED A BIRTH DEFECT, YOU COLD HEARTED BASTARD!

No one's dumb enough to come at you.

Wolf eyes?

But I just got here.

That's right, homeskillet.

New drinking game: Take a shot every time someone says Kevin's name.

She's got that post-sex look.

Phoenix? Miami? No?
Denver?
It'll be Chicago.

*Sings "Hippy Hippy Shake"*

You bastards!

No, but the monkeys from the beginning of the movie did to beat her up with the bone.

Those are probably the same people who would watch Lawrence of Arabia on their phones.

The older couple next to me also complained how loud the volume was in the movie afterwards. I thought it was the standard movie volume.

But she's still beautiful.

@avclub-ccc36675ce8d7286aff56ecccb53d0a5:disqus  I have some bad news to tell you about John Candy…

So was the U.S. government responsible for the boy band phenomenon  that brought about N'Sync, and Backstreet Boys, and 98 Degrees?

"I'd have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"