I'm a 25 year old drummer powerlifter.

*Decides between Pink Snow Balls and Hostess Cupcakes*

From what I heard, Ozzy is too vocally weak to sing on this tour!

Yes, because I'm sure the critics are saving their good reviews for a more worthy movie.

The Cisco Kid movie!

Well, if you quit spending money on cleaners and solutions for your basement, you would have had a little money saved up!

Wow. That's much better.

*In walks Maury Povich with the test results…*

Where is the wizard key?

That was a great photobomb.

Aren't you already drunk?

The AV Club

*Machete goes on a killing spree using his bare hands*

Yes, The President deserved to die and I hope he burns in hell!

"Eugene, I don't use the word 'hero' very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history …"

Can you bake a cake while you're there?

A visit to my parents will reveal that not only do they not own a computer (only a laptop my siblings and I paid for that my mom rarely uses), they got rid of the wi-fi they at one point had.

@avclub-de4a08d644135b09bd7e1a592dff156b:disqus  Doesn't she know about shrinkage?

Hugh!

Ahh flip phones. When cellular phone use was simpler.