Perhaps, despite the fact that you were drunk and you took her cartoon comment as a compliment, subconsciously you knew she was insulting you, that she is probably a bitch, and thus not worthy of your time or effort.

Actually, I have to take 2 more classes this summer before I graduate. I haven't begun a job search yet.

I think he's wondering when he started looking like a cross between Bryan Cranston and Conan O'Brien.

Stop naming nuts, Harlan Pepper.

Don't tease me like that, DPA! You know that meeting Joe Don Baker is my ticket back to Earth!

Paul Scheer

If you got me anywhere near one of those paper-slicers, I know I'd lose a finger.

My only Hollywood story:
I was in Barra de Navidad, Mexico when McHale's Navy was filming. My friend and I were backpacking down the coast. One night in a bar, this incredibly skeevy guy approached us and told us he was working on the movie, and there was a cast party that night, and would we like to go with him? …

Awesome, HatchetJob!

The picture
What have they airbrushed out of Murray's right hand?

Yay Binky! Oh my god…I gotta go sleep for 12 hours. I only got 4 last night.

Binky, when you said "grinder with coins," all I could think of was one of these:
http://www.vaporizerkits.co…

Done! Submitted online! 45 minutes before I go to class! I made it!

To be fair, sitting on a picket fence would be the epitome of comfort after fucking those pointy guys. We're gonna need a lot of lube.

Binky, I didn't see your post before because it came up at the same time mine did. Are your hands OK? Don't worry, that is totally the type of thing I do all the time. Like, I'll take a pan out of the oven using a hotpad, then turn around to get a spatula, and then grab the hot pan with my bare hand to get the food…

"Jennifer Garner played a stripper on Alias. It was one of her aliases."

Wouldn't it be great if it was Gilbert Gottfried, the Afflack Duck?

"M.A.R.P.L.E. (Martial Arts/Recondite Programs and Liaisons Expert)"

Yes. Whenever Matthew Weiner's not on the screen, everyone should be asking, "Where's Matthew Weiner?" I'm not being sarcastic. This show is excellent because it was well thought out by Weiner. Without him, it would fall apart.

OK, I knocked off another page. Just 2 more to go in the 5 hours I have left, and these are about the politics of belonging to a "necessary" monolithic organization that supposedly helps libraries function while actually robbing them blind through membership and transaction fees. That kind of writing I can handle. …