I will be the first person to rip Billy Joel. "Weird Al without a sense of humor"', is how I typically describe him.

JJ Watt could row a canoe past you during a flash flood warning while he yells, "Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard!" in Houston.

Who did you row for? My brother rowed for Marietta from Ohio .

Wouldn't it be awesome if we had a President who could assissinate other world leaders in the middle of the night and nobody would ever find out? And she had cool lines lik "Putin was Russian to hit the sack tonight. "

Maybe they just thought it was a picture from Singapore, where everything still looks like the 90s for some reason.

Hillary Clinton has personally murdered over 30 people and never left a drop of evidence. If that doesn't mean you would be a great President, I don't know what does.

I am protesting the lack of toilet paper around here.

I will gladly confess to viewing myself as better than white supremacists.

Houston has JJ Watt.

Dallas has Fort Worth and you can play cowboy on that little dirt road thing.

Yep. You're right.

This conversation right here is why Phoenix is the worst "city" in America.

How hot is in Phoenix today?

So that is what they meant by the agony and the ecstasy.

Snapper soup is still widely available in Philly and southern Jersey. And it is not expensive places either. It is usually at restaurants that have been open for 40 to 50 years.

They're suppositories.

I work in a school. That teacher would quit during winter break.

Not drinking bleach is a just a way for the Chinese to restrict our productivity

I agree with Tucker.

Are you that guy I talked to in the bathroom after it. And I told him it was the worst movie I had ever seen and he looked like he was going to cry.