Schneiderman certainly isn't a a fan …

Fishkill. Has to be Fishkill.

No, there's a definite underdog-syndrome-feeling-of-inadequacy when it comes to New York if you're from Philadelphia.

Ha! Trailers don't have basements! Joke's on you!

Ehhh. I don't know. I told my father that Bush I was a better candidate that Dukakis because his name sounded less like "doody" and Dukakis looked dumb in that tank when I was that age.

I was just going to say Philadelphia isn't that bad, but I see bunch of douchebros got into a brawl at Sips this week. So yes, it is that bad.

They don't currently weigh 700 pounds a piece and haven't lost limbs to Type II Diabetes, so no.

Of Mickey Mouse.

It's in that part of PA that I generally avoid like the plague. You know, Pennsyltucky.

And if he suddenly shows a sudden interest in animals, I wouldn't get him a kitten. Unless you want to have a discussion about the Homicidal Triad.

No, the issue is that instead of cutting their lunch meat in-house, they've gone the Subway route with pre-packaged cold cuts in vacuum sealed bags, so the meat is inherently wet. (I miss the days when all they served was Dietz and Watson, cut on a deli slicer.) Their shitty sandwich makers aren't helping.

That was fucking turrrrble. Just turrrrble.

Valid. But if you stay overnight in Breezewood …. oh fuck it, there's nothing to do in Breezewood. It definitely doesn't count.

You know I prefer Gatorade bottles.

Imma just leave this here …

We always used the "feet on the ground" rule, meaning you have to be out of the car to consider it as visited. Though as we've gotten better traveled, the "going to the rest stop doesn't count" caveat has been instituted.

I didn't know Circle Ks existed in real life until I'd visited one in Florida. I'd thought they'd been invented for Bill and Ted.

Oh fuck their hoagies. They've gotten gross and wet. And they've started adding sugar to their pretzel dough.

They actually had a printed, written policy calling for employees to be fired if they didn't act straight enough in the 90s.

I call him "Bitey".