Stop using your phone as an alarm clock. Or only use it as a backup.

Fuck the low-key migraine sitting in my right temple just waiting to explode the minute my stress level reaches semi-high levels. Fuck Amtrak and NYC for the Summer of Hell; my commute hasn't been terrible *yet*, but we're all just waiting for it to completely sideways and the hour-plus delays to hit. Also, the slow…

I bought tickets to see Arcade Fire in September. I'm tan. I finally got the brake light in the Jeep to turn off.

I'm finally reading The Terror. I'm not sure if it was you or someone else who recommended it to me way back when, but it does not disappoint.

I'm almost finished the first season of Bloodline. I know it goes downhill from here, but I'm enjoying a family more fucked up than my own, even if it's fictional.

I have Crohn's Disease. It's a crap shoot, sometimes literally. I'm almost constantly swinging between dysentery and constipation.

I would call the office. Nothing embarrassing. You don't want to get dinged for it if/when you move out.

I love The Age of Innocence. It still bothers me to this day that people don't "remember" that movie better than they do. It's so beautifully melancholy. Also, DDL is pretty close to peak hotness.

That's Life.

My buddy's ex-girlfriend was named Hope. So playing it with her, especially if you had the Hope card was so, so much fun. I can pinpoint the exact moment she began hating me as when I played "The Emmy for taking three dicks as once goes to Hope".

I have a basic deck and a couple of expansion packs, but after you play it once the novelty of "being forced to say terrible things you wouldn't otherwise say because you're a good liberal" wears off. It is, however, a good gauge of which of your friends can string concepts together for an exponentially worse outcome…

I actually went through DARE twice (I switched schools between 6th and 7th grades, it was one of the many things I had to repeat at the new school). All it did was make Quaaludes and coke sound freaking spectacular.

Because a Trump is a classless bore? Or as I like to call him, "Queens rich"?

Naught-ahhh! Joe Biden is *my* drunken uncle!

I could not, for the life of me, remember the title of that movie. Also, I would attempt to pity and mock you, but I have a similar relationship with the lesser Jaws movies.

I just watched it. It was terrible.

No, but he did have plans for a death ray.

All of that is in AHC and Military History. More room for Templars and greys and "mysteries" that don't exist.

I don't mind the Hitler content unless it's Finding Hitler, which is just terrible. They do have too much sensational and circumstantial crap on of late.

Didn't this star Brendan Frasier originally?