According to the pamphlet, after you stab me, all the gay will drain out. I have a feeling you may need to suck out the last remaining drops, though.

I was trying to explain my huge crush on Gillian Anderson to some youngsters and they could not understand it. But kids out there—to a 12 year-old hornball in 1994, she was where it was at as far as I was concerned. 

I was trying to explain my huge crush on Gillian Anderson to some youngsters and they could not understand it. But kids out there—to a 12 year-old hornball in 1994, she was where it was at as far as I was concerned. 

More interesting consideration: who will be the last person?

More interesting consideration: who will be the last person?

Well played. I wish I'd known better.

Well played. I wish I'd known better.

Dude, you should know the story by now. Not clashing, not at all, but see my nigga went to do a little acting. Now that's for anyone asking, gimme one pass 'em, drip drip drop there goes an eargasm.

Dude, you should know the story by now. Not clashing, not at all, but see my nigga went to do a little acting. Now that's for anyone asking, gimme one pass 'em, drip drip drop there goes an eargasm.

Quick story: last Christmas I was feeling bummed after a hard breakup left me single, and when my mother suggested we see a movie on Christmas day to take my mind off things, I suggested Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and she agreed.

Quick story: last Christmas I was feeling bummed after a hard breakup left me single, and when my mother suggested we see a movie on Christmas day to take my mind off things, I suggested Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and she agreed.

Three Clerks and a Little Lady.

Three Clerks and a Little Lady.

Clerks III: Rise of the Machines

Clerks III: Rise of the Machines

Clerks already had a sequel called Clerks II. Now Clerks II will get its own sequel called Clerks II 2. Hopefully this will continue ad infinitum.

Clerks already had a sequel called Clerks II. Now Clerks II will get its own sequel called Clerks II 2. Hopefully this will continue ad infinitum.

Okay, "severely unwatchable" may have been hitting it too hard. I loved Office Space, thought Idiocracy was pretty good, and had high expectations for Extract given the cast. Maybe it's a grower, but I won't sit through it again to find out.

Okay, "severely unwatchable" may have been hitting it too hard. I loved Office Space, thought Idiocracy was pretty good, and had high expectations for Extract given the cast. Maybe it's a grower, but I won't sit through it again to find out.

I very strongly disliked Extract. Other than the Mila Kunis eye candy and the ongoing bit with the pool cleaner, I found it severely unwatchable.