…you might want to rephrase that last line, Geddy.

"People who like Bond films don't really like movies."

Didn't Tom Cruise do this with the MI films?

Hey, I quite liked Sam Neil's reading there… God knows if he could have really pulled it off, but that seemed ok. Brolin was unsurprisingly awful though.

Lars von Trier's Bond. Shot on a soundstage in Denmark. Three hours long. Bond is castrated in the final act. M is a talking fox. It's a musical.

"I have no experience with the works of Ian Fleming; my entire concept of Bond is born of the film series."

That's all nice and what have you, and on one level you're right, of course, except for the point that he was written by Fleming as a white man - he was, in almost all ways, Flemings proxy.

A Werner Herzog Bond with Nic Cage.

OK Lone Apocalypse, how about if they made a Derek Strange movie and cast Matt Damon in the lead?

Ever see Ultraviolet, channel fours vampire show from a few years back? That was, I seem to remember (but may be wrong) really quite good. And Stringer Bell was in it.

Exactly.

Cheers for that… But you see, I applied exactly as much care and attention to my last post as it deserved. As a response to the gales of horse shit from the unregistered chappies, I stand by it. Apart from my 'it's' as opposed to 'its'. I don't usually do that. What a cunt I am.

Consider me roundly shamed by your stunning dismantling of my comments. You, sir, are truly insightful and right. I don't know what I was thinking. I shall retire to my study to contemplate my own failures, and only hope that my future comments can live up to the high standards of intellectual rigorousness that you…

Oh, and to leave the madly homoerotic insults to the side for a moment, how's this for a stunner of a second paragraph from io9's review:

I'll be there with a greased up pig and litre of gin…can't wait.

My nogs grand, there's just too much goodwill around at this time of year…need an outlet somewhere, right? The knife spelling was probably my finest hour…

@furthermore…

Lock stock and Snatch are considered good movies by people who really, REALLY enjoy lager commercials.

Nothing like a boxing day duel. I accept, you cunt. Shall we nominate seconds? I choose my father. He's a crack shot, a master swordsman, and he knows his noodles. By the lake at dawn? I think so…

What are you, my fucking official biographer now? Pull quotes and the phrase 'splosions… I suppose there are worse things out there, but I'm dammed if I'll let the little things slide. This is the internet, you know…