Zach Galifianakis has hantavirus? Oh dear.

"Wonder Twin powers activate!"

You're right, he's probably fearlessly digging dirt and exposing shady activities of the one guy who can withdraw his protection at will.

All this and a Deschanel-centric drinking game I was not aware of!

I could keep going, but it starts to get weird.

Pretty sure Snowden's been desperately spinning it like that to Putin as well.

DON'T GET THIS GUY STARTED ON KATE MIDDLETON'S MAKEUP:

MEANWHILE IN MALAYSIA:

MEANWHILE ON PLANET BIZZARO:

Thanks, I guess.

"For more pig vagina facts, please log in to Yahoo Answers and mash the keyboard with your greasy fists."

I liked the way he took credit for it not winning the Best Picture Oscar and bigged it up like some major moral victory.

Stay tuned for fun pig vagina facts in the thread below!

You guys have never read the comments below a Glenn Greenwald article. I salute you for making better use of your time.

I can't resist this.

Yeah, nice concern trolling. Keep on being an apologist for neoliberal imperialism on behalf of the world's rogue state.

I see the NSA's Koch Brothers' funded hasbara trolls are out early tonight.

This is a shocking development. I guess his followers better start getting used to accommodating some contradictions in their principles!

… and that's why I've got this court-ordered electronic tag.

I DON'T NEED A BACKSTORY FOR MY MASTURBATION FANTASIES