If the events of Friday have taught me anything, it's that this is probably the Democrats' fault.

Haha, self-promoting! Hilarious! Almost as much fun as self-dealing and giving your daughter security clearance without an actual federal job! I love humor!

Jingle All the Way
*holds up tray to block barrage of meatballs*

The Mattel Cinematic Universe suffers its greatest blow yet.

Meanwhile Phil Jackson is trying to force the moon to rotate in a triangular pattern.

Sony's sterling track record surely guarantees these projects will actually get made!

What if our reality is an elaborate Paul Feig movie? Can it be? Please?

Yes, the freedom to hire and not hire someone for any determined reason is just like communism.

I'm sure et11robot didn't mean to steal your thunderball.

"Get your stinkin' paws off me, you damn dirty speedster!"

You mentioned Monica the Medium, which compels me to link to this op-Ed from the Penn State student paper: http://onwardstate.com/2015…

Brother to be played by, you guessed it…

*Adam Baldwin doxes Toasterland, returns to his Reagan needlepoint*

I'll just leave this here: https://twitter.com/pftcomm…

"With the first pick in the 2016 NFL draft, the Los Angeles Rams select … I.P. Freely? Seriously guys? Grow up. With the second pick in the 2016 NFL Draft, the Philadelphia Eagles select… Roger sucks. Okay, fuck you guys!"

Can't wait to hear him and Cowherd talk about why John Wall is the "NBA's Johnny Manziel*."

Woo! Last Man Standing!

It will certainly be awkward when Curt finds himself pissing next to Caitlyn Jenner at the Republican Celebrity Convention.

Man never watched a Simpsons episode in his life.

Nolan Ryan also holds the record for number headlocks given to Robin Ventura.