Got sent a shitty screener copy of the Lantern flick. Slammed a few 20 brews, and made a big ass Vizio construct and proceeded to beer fart my way through a 90 minute HR video. Ya know, Hal's kind of a douche, but fuck that Van Wilder skirt. Only person I know that pays that much attention to their abs is Rayner, but…

Yeah, yeah, Brightest Day, blackest night blah blah. Welcome to the Corps, kid. Now quit using your ring to make green chicks to suck on your lil winkie, an get me a fuckin' beer.

Cheeee-rist… Rayner pranced up to me the other day with tickets to this piece o' shit and tried to get me to go. I told him "Turn off the dark? More like FUCK YOU PUSSY!" The lil nancy actually made a kleenex construct to cry into as he floated away. Heard he conned J'onn into goin though, made him morph into Bradley…

I remember the time…
that me an Sheen went on a bender in Sector 2612. Got all boozed up at my joint first, then bought some nose candy from Stewart (keeps it in one his many Air Jordan boxes, like I wouldn'tve figured that out) and after that it was all down hill. I swear that Walmart lothario will fuck anything with…

Heh, Jordan tried to bring up that Reynolds goober to me the other day and I was like "Whoooa there flyboy, if ya wanna talk about your favorite gay pornstar, I think Rayner can lend a dainty ear. If it don't got giant tits, and it ain't making me sammiches, I don't wanna hear about it." Course after that me and…

I'd say ask and ye shall receive, but I don't feel like flashing my huge junk to a bunch of sweaty cyber-dudes. That's what Rayner's for, 'cept the part about the huge junk. Just call space-Warhol anytime you need your wrinkly, baby-wang smacked about. Now which one you's is a broad, and why aren't your tits out?