Umm, maybe this is just my experience, but women seem to want and enjoy sex as much as men. Either that or I'm just into really awesome women. In any case, wait…, what were we talking about?

According to "The Oxford Companion to the English Language", a simile is a type of metaphor.  Also your statement "[s]imiles are literally true" is incorrect.  For instance, a square is like a fish.  While it is a simile, that statement is not literally true.  You are misusing the word "literally". 
In addition, you…

Yeah, I stopped listening to The Beatles after Meet the Beatles

Yeah, I stopped listening to The Beatles after Meet the Beatles