Classic.

We've secretly replaced Cube's regular coffee with Folger's Crystals. Do you think he will notice?

[glowers and stubs cigarette into already filled ashtray]

Too soon.

What is he, the mashiach, or something?

Bamboozeler!

Another life saved. My work is done here.

Comment was deleted so that now I look like a crazy person. The term "sic" was used, Latin for thus. I guess people use it when they mean that the way they type it is the way it is intended, but it didn't seem to make any sense in the context. Thus (sic) I made a snarky remark. I hope nobody blew their brains out…

What rhymes with fist?

This thread's got legs.

That's the titular line!

Stain my man's cheeks! No, you unnatural hags,
I will have such revenges on you both,
That all the world shall—I will do such things,—
What they are, yet I know not: but they shall be
The terrors of the earth.

[in Chris Rock voice]
If my father hadn't misogynized my mother, I wouldn't have been born.

Quite risible.

Sorry to hear that Cliff Martinez is sick.

I'm from Virginia, and I honestly never heard of this. Wikipedia tells me there are some localities that choose not to observe it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wi…

Well, at least Mussolini was well hung.

An AV Club commentator or Onion writer's dream job, if there ever was one.

Do they have a Donkey Show?

Read in the voice of an old Maine farmer…