Who the hell orders one meatball?

Hot dogs?!? You know I have irritable bowel syndrome, you racist!

RUN

If Hardwick ends up hosting Talking Bad, I will go full Emmentraut on his ass. Why that chattering clown needs to be plastered all over everything I love is beyond me.

Is this a word jumble? Reading this makes me even angrier that my writing submission from a few weeks ago probably isn't going to be selected.

Oh cool. Can't wait to jump on in here when the comment threads are 6,000 posts deep. Good plan.

Yeah, clearly Walt was ripping off all those people who had never done what he did and kept telling him that it wasn't possible. That makes all KINDS of sense.

Oh, for chrissakes. Did Lindelof direct it? No, he didn't. Hate on the script all you want, but if have to shit on someone for it, shit on Ridley. Clearly Damon and Spaihts gave him what he asked for. You're acting like Ridley Fucking Scott wasn't even involved and isn't a massive control freak to boot.

Your most recent bout of violent masturbating?

Ms. Kosinski? Did Joseph Kosinski pull a Wachowski?

Reminds me of when Sly hired a transvestite to ride around on the back of Mickey Rourke's motorcycle in 'The Expendables'. Good times.

Pussy or no pussy (I was speaking figuratively anyway), it was a dumb move. There is never any valid reason to give away an immunity necklace ESPECIALLY at the end of a game, and ESPECIALLY to a gaggle of girls whom he should've seen coming at him as a group from a mile away. Honestly one of the dumbest Survivor moves…

He's the thinking man's Dave Chang.

Dude, it's Erik. This is the guy who gave up an immunity necklace at the end of the game because he thought it might get him some pussy somewhere down the line. Total and complete moron.

I have some friends who have had their calendar planned around the Hawaii episode(s) for months now.

Hence the phrasing 'just that much more'.

And so begins the time of year when all your retro hipster friends start being just that much more intolerable.

Agreed. Usually that mean fucker takes hours. It was over in five minutes after Corinne's skinny ass got saddled with 60 pounds and Phillip fell over. Pathetic.

A massive blindside that should've happened tonight. Had it happened, he would've shit himself harder than me after drinking all that goddamn coffee.

I would have the most spectacular bowel movements after drinking that much coffee after starving myself for so long.  I would never stop. I'd have to spend the rest of the season sitting in the ocean. I don't even drink coffee regularly, so clearly they'd have to quarantine the entire island. Close down shipping…