"I had sex with Billy!"
"But you were already pregnant!"
"Yeah, so what's the worst that could happen?"
Announcer: "We interrupt 'Pregnant Baby' with breaking news."

And then there's the old joke where the teacher is explaining to her elementary school students that the sun will engulf the earth in 5 billion years, and one kid starts crying. Teacher: "It's OK! 5 billion years is a REALLY long time!" And the kid wipes his tears: "Oh, I thought you said 5 MILLION years."

The point was that Liam Neeson's character would have been happy to let her die. It was the scene of him saying, "If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you" — except THIS time, he…

That, my lad, was a dragon. (Wait, am I doing it right?)

I wound up citing that joke to my mom a few years ago when she was watching an episode of "Top Chef" with the Foo Fighters and wondering who the heck they were. (I truly believe the mid-2000s equivalent of that Paul McCartney joke is "Wait, Dave Grohl was in a band before Foo Fighters?")

I can't find proof of it on the Internet, but I'd *swear* there was a segment in the later years where the Hee-Haw Honeys were at college, living in a dorm called Arsenio Hall. It was never as sexy as teenaged me hoped.

My grandmother used to complain that Roy Clark worked as a clerk for the Empty Arms Hotel. "That's a terrible name for a hotel," she'd say, and we'd try to convince her that the name was part of the joke, but to no avail.

I never will forget showing that game to a friend of mine who only knew "Rogue Squadron" for the N64. He was impressed at the sequel's early logos and start-up stuff, but he actually said, "Well, of course you can make the OPENING look really good." Then finally it dawned on him that *I* was the one flying the X-Wing…

I would *also* be curious to watch "My Two Dads" again, but I'm hoping never again to see "Crushed," in which the daughter's best friend (a young Amy Hathaway) falls for the Paul Reiser dad, who finally sits her down and explains that she's getting her emotions confused because she's the daughter of a single mom. (I…

"Corn-pone" is right: I've never forgiven them for the time Bubba pledges Sigma Alpha Pi, and he puts on a cap that has "SAP" on the front. I hated that they thought their audience either was too stupid to know that "Sigma" doesn't look like an "S", or that they thought we wouldn't care because we'd laugh so hard at…

One of my favorite gags in all of "Cheers" was cut for syndication. It was the bit after Woody says he and Coach were pen pals:
Sam: "You two sent letters to each other?"
Woody: "No, we sent pens. It was Coach's idea."

Jenny McCarthy IS Charlotte Braun.

It's getting off-topic, but I'll never get a better chance to post my two all-time favorite TV mailbag letters:

Remember when weekly TV listings in newspapers would have some kind of reader mailbag? Back around probably 1995-96, somebody wrote to one of those in (I think) the St. Louis Post-Dispatch asking about episodes of "Transformers" from the 1980s, wondering why they weren't on TV anymore. The answer was "'Transformers'…

"The Living Skins." And it messed me up too — the bit that always stuck with me (and I may be misremembering the details) is when the kid disguised himself with a fake version of the parasitic track suit and tried to buy another one to analyze. The sales clerk (working for the aliens) tried not to let him have it:…

Both Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor and I had a J. Peterman long-sleeved shirt, solid blue all over except for the St. George's Cross on the back from the shoulder blades up. It was the 1990s, and it was the last shirt I ever owned that had a story better than "I got it at Dillard's."

Am I the only one who knows him as George the pharmacist from "Desperate Housewives"? He killed Rex to get to Bree! He turned stalkery even after Bree shot off his toe! He overdosed on sleeping pills and then Bree just watched him die! He…yeah, I should probably shut up now.

Looking back on the mutiny, I think a lot of the trouble stemmed from the fact that you men weren't coming to me with your problems. As I told you, the door to my office is always open. And I think you know WHY it's always open; that door was stolen. I'd like that returned.

I had to turn on the closed captioning to make sure I wasn't really hearing "Less filling! Tastes great!" over and over. (It was "Best villain! Hate's great!", and THAT'S how you do a joke for grown-ups without getting into "Look what they got past the censors!" territory.)

@avclub-b32768df2cfff3a5ab1a78d093711e2c:disqus : I've never read a single thing with Hyperstorm in it, but my impression of the villain was set forever by one old Usenet thread: "Go back to your time, knowing I am … HYPERSTORM! Thing, let me fix your face, so you will know the evil of …. HYPERSTORM! Drink this cup of…