Seasons 5 - 8 of Conan were the best ones. Everything after that has been bullshit.

"Event: Based on the Novel Occasion"

The message here is if you live in Sweden and are unmarried domestic partners, make sure you write a detailed will.

MYSTERIO

I'm going to start a doomed online petition to cast Nolan North.

The Passion of the Christ 2 is 140 minutes of Christians being eaten by lions in extreme close-ups. It's absolutely fucking horrifying, and theater managers are planning to include special "throw-up buckets" for patrons to hasten clean-up between screenings.

Military service?

I thought she was really cute in that Disney movie where her and Bette Midler were witches. Hocus Pocus? Something like that. Anyway, I was a child at the time but I was definitely buying what she was selling.

Don't forget Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

They're not remaking a Swedish movie, they're adapting a book that was very popular in the U.S. into a movie aimed primarily at U.S. audiences.

How can Fincher tell much of anything?

I guess I should have realized the Dragon Tattoo is so popular that everyone on here would hate it, but I'm not afraid to say that I really loved it. The second and third books were also really compelling, but the first is the best of the series.

From now on all her movie trailers should say… "Starring Katherine Heigl and her stupid cunting face!"

Directed by Tyler Perry, and starring Gabby Sidibe and Jay Pharoah. (Donald Glover is the Jason Alexander character)

"Monica, put the pie down! Put it down. The pie, put it down. Seriously. What? No, the pie! Um, the pie in your hand??? Yeah, PUT IT DOWN. Listen, listen, listen … put the damn pie down."

That's too bad, I was really looking forward to, um…
… uh, um…
… Werewolfing Heights?
… Twelfth Night of the Living Dead?
… Canterbury Tales from the Crypt?
… A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Swamp Creature?

Apparently everyone loves this show. I only watched the pilot, so maybe it gets better, but I don't really understand the popularity. I really can't tune in every week to watch Cloris Leachman be an old retarded grandma. I just can't.

I understand in some weird way how a studio could say "Yes let's create this product to make money", but how could a comedian who worked hard for years on his "craft," got on Saturday Night Live, somehow managed to connect with an audience, then decide to spend the whole second half of his career saying "Yes I would…

He is someone who was asked to smile but only managed to grimace. And after an hour or so, the photographer lied and said "That's great, let's move on."

I'm from slightly further in the future and I didn't really get it, but at least it's better than Confessions of a Dangerous Mind.