Lux Interior, lead singer of the Cramps.

Hey, I've known about it for quite some time.

Never gets old.

Just blowjobs, and that's it.

Her husband came home all like, "Woman, why don'tchu be answerin' any of my pages? You jeepin' behind my back?"

Wouldn't they be nothing BUT asshole at that point?

Like mah pastor done tol' me, "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Wii."

And that Munich ending, what the hell was that?

He was one lucky little boy if that actually happened. She was MILF-tastic.

The Best Thing About Forrest Gump:
For a whole day in middle school, at the peak of Gump Mania, my best friend got it in his head to say absolutely nothing but this sentence (spoken in a dead-on Gump accent):

Applesauce, bitch.

Another Reason to Hate Scientology:
I am forced to admit that I now have a small amount of respect for Paul Haggis.

(Owen Wilson sells out.)

True, but Carol Cleveland was hotter. Also the busty blonde chick from the Scotsman sketch.

The resemblance is uncanny, but…even Sweet Dee has the occasional moment of self-awareness.

Jim Carrey…
…was sitting on my cousin's couch when she got home from work one night. He was waiting for her roommate, fellow aspiring actress January Jones, to finish getting dressed so they could go out.

I don't want my this here little white baby sumbjectured to President Hovbama's Def Panels.

They could save a lot of money by replacing Kristen Stewart with the doll in the next movie. It already has more range than she does.

Eh. If I was from Waco, I'd probably tell people I was from Austin.

The dude probably said, "Anywhere but the face."