'Inappropriately respectable' is so right. I miss the idea of an authentic rarity. The first time I saw A Clockwork Orange was while it was still officially banned. It was a cruddy, scratched up old print which had probably been circulating since the theatrical release. It looked terrible, but I've still rarely been…

I hate the way the Hairspray remake has supplanted the infinitely superior original. I think it's his greatest film.

I had a guy from an online book group involve me in his psychotic break. He had mentioned that he'd had some mental issues in the past, but it took several days of increasingly weird emails for me to figure out what was going on.

Jared Leto had six extra arms grafted onto his torso for the role. Mind blown!

And the only available brand is Faygo.

"Have you or a loved one suffered serious side effects while taking Celeron? You may be entitled to a generous cash settlement!"

Why On Earth Does Lucy Have A Thigh Gap?

There's about two egg yolks in a decent amount of hollandaise sauce, plus another in the chicken batter, and at least another in the waffles.

Eating any quantity of Cheesecake Factory fried chicken means you surrender all control over your bowel movements.

It's like when McDonalds started offering salads. If someone walks into a McDonalds, it's because they want a cheap caloriefest, not a mediocre salad.

"Gainful employment? Not for me!"

Recently I bought a coffee and I couldn't stop staring at the barista. I couldn't figure out what was weird about him. Then it came to me. Bare arms. He had no sleeve tattoos.

For Your Consideration: Are Foot Tattoos The Absolute Worst?

I've got both an AVC legacy account and a Disqus account. I find that if I log in to the Disqus account in one window and then log in to my AVC account in another, it works OK.

I was actually kind of disappointed by April and the Extraordinary World. Seemed like Studio Ghibli Lite.

You just summed up my Facebook feed for today. It's actually making my head hurt more than during the RNC, because it's good people fighting good people. Trump's already succeeded in dividing and conquering his own supporters. The fact that his opponents are succeeding in doing the same to themselves without his help…

I think Devo might have approved an all-Devo RNC playlist simply for the irony.

I read that headline as 'sucked into the Big Bang Theory's obit' and thought 'FINALLY!'

It seems like only yesterday that said Midwest rubes were calling John Kerry 'snooty' but describing oil millionaire/political dynasty member George W. Bush as 'a guy you can imagine having a beer with.'

The Devil's Advocate is one of the few movies I ever considered walking out of. I can't remember anything about it except that I hated it and Dawn Weiner was in it.