*sigh* No one writes emails like this to me.

I want to see someone make non-porn versions of porn movies.
"Did you order a pie with extra sausage?"
"I did!"
… "That'll be 14.50."

Imagine Gay Poots? Well, I'd imagine something like organic peanut butter, why do you ask?

JJ Abrams should totally do the remake of Amour.

William Mapother as the Emperor?

Darth Bernie Nussbaum?

And the sequel shall be "Mama 2: Mama's Family."

…and then the porn version, "Jurassic Pork."

I bet the Velociraptors would be all sassy.

Evidently, he's getting "old" on a regular basis.

Special Guest Star Gamera!

Story line #3: Joss Whedon will do a script rewrite and all the 'Pedes will be performing a commedia dell'arte-inspired version of "The Merry Wives of Windsor."

Weren't they in Max Headroom?

I was totally thinking Nic Cage for this one. "Human Centipede: Port of My Anus."

Get Ryan Murphy to direct. The fight scene with Mechagodzilla in a gimp suit and the Monsters Island "Name Song" dance medley will be AWESOME.

Two words: Atomic Skateboard.

Godzilla and Gamera escape to Zihuatanejo and fall in platonic monster love.

Well you know what they say about Ghidorah…

I would watch the worst torture porn if it featured Godzuki and Scappy Doo as victims.

…so Shia LaBeowulf is going to ruin another one of my childhood memories?
/shakes fist at sky