Yes, this am Bizarro World.  Also, hamburgers eat people and Dawes am terrible.

Somewhere, David Faustino just shed a single tear.

Yeah, AV Club, I spend like twelve hours a day on your site.  I don't need your suggestion that I read another article.

That's crazy…everyone knows that shitting on the kitchen floor is a reward, not a punishment.

I guess that's what they call a way-homer.

I disagree; what about the one where the guy got hit in the groin?

I believe they conducted a sociological study and found with a high degree of confidence that women be shoppin'.

I drank nothing but Miller Lite and Dr. Pepper 10 for a week, and it was so much manliness that I grew a second penis.

BRING BACK VIDEOCRACY!

A coworker asked me the other day if I knew when Heroes was going to be back on TV.  I almost did a spit-take.

I hear Adam's pretty devoted to his spoon collection these days.

I'm curious to know which earlier material you think "Ultraviolet" sounds like.  That seems like one of the songs that wouldn't have fit on any album before Achtung Baby.

All of these puns are bad.  Bad indeed.

In Soviet Russia, parents trap you.

In Soviet Russia, Monsters Incorporate you.

menwholooklikeoldlesbians.b…

He fell down because he couldn't get a grip.

Nazi Absentee Fathers from Outer Space would be the pinnacle of Spielberg's career.

"Don't tell the elf!"

Really, God Hates Us All could be the title of a Christian rock album.  It'd be like "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" set to music.