@avclub-6258e285eeb51b21d01ffe9cb9f9c1d1:disqus I'm at peace with my broken, misshapen visage, a collection of broken bone fragments and scarred skin from teenage acne to form what passes as my face. I've been friend-zoned enough times to know where I stand. I'm good.

According to the results of my survey Phelps' face had a "slightly retarded chimp" look.

Nice guy? Maybe at a New Jersey American Eagle store but during the Olympics last year every person I know who watched it thought he was an animated skid mark.

I asked a bunch of my female friends about Michael Phelps and his supposed attractiveness and they all had the same answer, "He has a great body but that face, puke!" I asked the same about Lochte and the answer was a universal unanimous "FUCK NO!" Even the ones who screw on the first date thought he was a living…

Who wants honey?
As long as there's some money (in the bank)

If you were a wrestler you'd be the Black Zwan. You'd be an opening match jobber, of course, but at least people would be paying to see you again!

The E totally dropped the ball with her. She was one of the few divas who could actually wrestle and construct a full sentence.

I saw this during it's brief run at one of our many indie theaters and we got the special treat of having Spike and Evangelina (I think that's her name, she's from season 3 and got no mention in the film) in the audience and answer questions. They were super cool and recited their raps for everybody. Spike made a…

When I first saw the picture I thought she was making a death metal gurgle into her drumstick microphone.

When I first saw the picture I thought she was making a death metal gurgle into her drumstick microphone.

The Schnitz is a weird place to see a metal band, what with it being an actual factual seated theater and all, but I guess Soundgarden has earned the right to be considered a cultural act.

The Schnitz is a weird place to see a metal band, what with it being an actual factual seated theater and all, but I guess Soundgarden has earned the right to be considered a cultural act.

Gentlemen, start your whacking!

Gentlemen, start your whacking!

I hope that you heckled "How would you know?"

I hope that you heckled "How would you know?"

So did you pick up on Terri Garr's request for a roll in ze hay?

So did you pick up on Terri Garr's request for a roll in ze hay?

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband before she left for the launch?

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband before she left for the launch?