Mind meld, Giant Spider Invasion!

hot damn
Carey's positively Redenbacher-y.

Yeahhh…I think I'll go ahead and speak for all the (3) ladies of the AV Club when I say we do not behave as the Jersey Shore girls do, in pretty much any way…except for the blackout drinking

Can I play the piano anymore?

I just wanna know why they drew in the cat's pupils. What was wrong with the ones it already had?!

One time I dated a guy whose dad was a complete hillbilly and, unbeknownst to me, had used my (still half-full!) bottle of Coke as a spit receptacle. I figured it out moments later when I took a drink and got a big old mouthful of chaw spit. I projectile barfed. That's my tobacco spit story.

Matthew's song…
…is one of the funniest moments of the season for me. It sends me into hysterical laughter no matter how many times I hear it.

Knife, have you seen Gone in Sixty Seconds? It's truly awful, and Jolie has scraggly blonde hair in it. It always bothered me.

Chartex, that anecdote made me laugh so fucking hard. Seriously. Now my boss is glaring at me

Andy Dick has always been curiously ambivalent and secretive about his personal life. He's known for getting extremely defensive when others imply he's gay or bi, though he has admitted to bisexual relationships in the past, and when talking about his addictions he seems always to leave out coke, which is reportedly…

"the biggest [cop-out] of all time if we didn't [follow through] on it"
I wanna know what Mindy said originally that was replaced with the words in brackets. I'm hoping for incredibly foul, nonsensical cusses

Amen Garden…the food is passably good, certainly not disgusting. But the commercials drive me fucking insane. They fill me with such rage that it colors my entire perception of the chain. IN FACT FUCK YOU OLIVE GARDEN

They are commonly called "supertasters," st. murse, and it is a genuine affliction. Broccoli, spinach and brussels sprouts are some of the vegetables to which they have the strongest aversion, if I recall correctly.

I love that line. It's fun to stalk through a room and shout it.

The writers were painfully aware they couldn't write for Catherine - they make a nod to this in "Daydream," when Catherine fantasizes about an office environment staffed with other people of color with whom she can take a break and chat comfortably. Her reality, of course, involves a bunch of white nerds who are…

I only skip two episodes of this show as a general rule: "Daydream", because the snack guy's daydream of being loved and noticed in the office is cruelly contrasted with the loneliness and indifference he's shown in real life, and I can't stand the pathos; and the season 5 opener, which I watched when it originally…

haven't heard the music
but that is one fugly album cover.

Oh, god, yes. "RO-bit." So fucking funny.

Still one of my favorite sketches. I like to yell "his name was…ME!", or, alternatively, to point to petty miscreants (or friends) and yell "CRIME!", to this very day.

For a prime example of Odenkirk Accent Awesomeness, see Crime Watch Change Thief Action Squad, which has the power to crack me up even after all these years.