The fact that you're self-aware enough to worry you may be Michael Scott is a pretty good indication you're not. If there's anything that dude ISN'T, it's self-aware.

My dad worked for EDS, the Ross Perot-owned tech company. They had a no-beards rule for a very long time. I mean, I understand no Grizzly Adams-type beards in a place of business, but they didn't even allow Michael "Dad on Family Ties" Gross-type beards. They finally started allowing them in the mid-'90s.

mbs, no matter what your dad tells you, I did NOT nail him.

Yeah, that's always the danger. I comfort myself knowing that even if I have a little Michael Scott in me (not in THAT way, ugh), I don't have as much as my friend. And I guess that's the best I could hope for.

acquaintances
I have a friend like Michael. Maybe "friend" is a little strong, because he's just the guy we've all known since high school and someone always ends up inviting him to stuff. Most of the time he's innocuous; I'd say about 55% of the time, he's not up to much trouble. Then, about 35% of the time, he is…

Now THAT'S a passive-aggressive emoticon.

Wait, how do you boycott a show on a pay channel anyhow? Are the complainers suggesting followers sign up for HBO just to cancel it immediately? Or should only those followers who already subscribe maintain the boycott?

Potemkin, it's a 30 Rock quote.

She told me she was sixteen, but she mentioned her ex-boyfriend was Asian. And THAT crap doesn't start until COLLEGE!

Sorry, Albtraum. Wasn't trying to steal your thunder!

Huh. I thought merkins were apocryphal. Learn something new, and surely extremely valuable, every day.

Yeah, and there's something to be said for personal responsibility - free will, he (presumably) didn't put a gun to her head to make her come back, and all that. I don't mean to imply that she's a totally helpless victim, since obviously that strips her of even more power and responsibility and renders her a child.…

Sis, it's sad she believes his line about changing and is getting back with him, but she's not a bad role model because of it. Rather, she's an all-too-typical domestic violence victim. Statistically, they return to the abuser again and again before they finally realize things don't change. It's sad and wrong,…

PVC - looks to me like the Photoshopper went to town on old Chris' mug, but never made it down to his oddly wrinkled neck, leaving us with the odd plastic visage we see here.

Tommy, I assumed the kids were sitting on their laps. Makes the story more unsettling that way.

ricin, I'll admit it - that made me laugh out loud.

You and me both, Geddy Lee. Let's put our imaginary kids in the same playgroup.

Methinks it's because these are all regular old redneck-on-another-dude assaults, as opposed to domestic assaults, which carry an extra layer of ickiness. Right or not, it's hard to get your dander up over Kid Rock punching another dude at a Waffle House.

Smauis: my mom is one of the most laid-back people you'll find anywhere, but "Don't Worry Be Happy" sends her into spittle-flying conniptions of rage. I think it's the imperative tense of the chorus that leaves her indignant. No one's going to tell HER to be happy unless she WANTS TO BE, dammit!

Lemur - I wasn't far behind you; Tubthumping was big when I was a junior in high school.
Yes, I am well on my way to being the world's oldest college graduate, because I am still working on my degree. You'll see my old ass on one of those feel-good fluff pieces at the end of the evening news, hobbling down to the…