Why would McMahon be pissed at Aronofsky? I thought The Wrestler was downright respectful in how it dealt with wrestling, even the small-town local matches that some people find pathetic. What am I missing?

AJR made me choke on my gum from laughter.

Alternatively, you can silk-screen the phrase "I'm Wearing These Ironically" on the butt of your workout short-shorts.

Session 5: Hitting a punching bag weakly while crying about how your dad is such a dick

Otto, let's not mate, because I also have oddly-shaped earholes and I wouldn't want to curse my children to a lifetime of not being able to wear earbuds. I have to buy regular headphones for my iPod because my earholes are too small and I can't fit earbuds in them.

There are a lot of offshoots of LDS, including the famous RLDS, which gained a lot of undeserved notoriety when one of its outcast preachers, Jeff Lundgren, had his followers kill an entire family. The rules between LDS branches vary widely, with some being so restrictive as to outdo traditional fundamentalists, and…

Party Monster is a great read, even if you know the whole time you're reading the gladhanding half-truths of a narcissistic shell of a man.

Eww, I said "though" twice in one sentence. I really should proof-read.

Maybe so we wouldn't think this movie starred Donald Sutherland, his dad? (I might actually have seen it if it starred old-ass Donald doing his best Jack Bauer.)

Pilgrim, I like your description best, though I'd argue that a fresh dog turd is far more offensive than a 3-week-old one, though.

And actually, Jack Donaghy's white guy voice on 30 Rock when he's helping Tracy through his regression therapy is like that, too.

Hell, even MY white guy voice sounds like theirs. I think it's universal.

Fuck that, hatin. This article was the tits. I laughed my ass off. And for the record, many of Josh's theories about where the plot was going were vastly more interesting than what actually happened.

Yes, we actually requested that the Safety Dance become the plant's official song. Shockingly, we were shut down.

#1318 is a brown-noser. Making it hard for the rest of us slackers. (Ugh…pun not intended)

It seems like Col. Campbell should be posting this.

Yes, I've been to Caravan of Dreams several times. It's not open any more, unfortunately. I believe I saw Mindless Self Indulgence there, among others.

By the way, AJR, I should clarify that I did indeed pee on the side of the building. I leaned against it with my pants around my knees. It's exactly as dignified as it sounds. At least I'd repanted by the time the cops shown the spotlight on me.

You have a point, AJR. Fun fact: he was named through a contest involving employees of the plant, Safety Casey being the winning name. But I voted for a much better name, submitted by a friend: Steve Safetypants.

Ha! That cracks me up, mark84, because I work in a pants warehouse and our "safety mascot" is a box of pants named Casey. As in "case of pants."