You're just as likely to be killed by a demon or screwed over by Constantine himself while you're sober, so you might as well be drunk if you're gonna hang out with the guy.

Billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne seems like he'd be fun to party with. Sure he'd probably be actually drinking water instead vodka and acting drunk so he could sneak out and perform "other" duties, but hanging out with a billionaire seems like a fun time.

Said episode was only about pre-wedding jitters (Barney never wanted to abandon the idea of the marriage, he only wanted to change suits) and concluded with both characters realizing that they were perfect for each other (however true you may consider that to be) and in love. More importantly, the episode featured…

I have less of a problem with that and more of a problem that they burned a whole season showing how ~special~ the marriage was then divorced it in 15 minutes. Yeah, they justified it in-show by saying it was 3 years later but come the hell on, that's bullshit of the highest caliber. You don't have 11 episodes of…

There's your Shyamalan twist.

Ted is arrested because after World War 3 in 2026, the brass market skyrocketed. The blue french horn is worth a fortune and Ted would have to have been a master thief to have gotten it.

That's legen- wait for it - dark as hell.

Hasn't that been Jason Segel's stated preferred ending for some time?

Alternate ending is Bays making a snow angel in a Scrooge McDuck-ian pile of money while Thomas walks in, points at the viewer, and laughs aloud for 10 straight minutes.

This is the first time I've ever heard somebody make a comparison between DBZ and a sitcom or admit to crying at the end of it.

You know, I'm one of the big defenders of 300 (which I know is rare these days) but holy shit I just don't understand why this movie exists. With my friends, 300 was a big action flick that everyone got hyped about, but it was a singular, fleeting experience, like any good dumb popcorn flick. Bringing out a prequel…

Only went on for 3:50, you know, the length of the song.

Man, you really are a hipster.

And he makes sure to put winking suggestions to not do the things Bruce will do like the "don't spend it on fast cars" line. I'd imagine a draft goes "Don't make friends with illegal aliens *wink wink* wait shit that sounds racist ALFRED START OVER"

I'm sorry, I think you meant to say "the sight of Pearl welling up with tears while dressed up as a clown in order to save Steven from dying of old age was damn near the most hilarious thing I've seen in any cartoon"

Holy shit, I took an English class with Warner as my professor a couple of years ago. It's so surreal seeing this article with him. Now I can flaunt the fact that I have a C+ from a ~AV Club certified "favorite pop culture creator"~

Because curling is boring. I mean, I'm sure if I watched coverage, they'd show me how it's actually complex and harder than it seems, but it looks boring to the outsider, and so they're gonna change the channel rather than stick around for NBC to try to sell them on it. It's simply not a prime time sport and I don't…

Well thank God I'm not insane at least.

Okay, this one's gonna sound super-weird, because it's not even my favorite commercial, but it just sticks out in my mind vividly. So in like, 2000 or so, Intel ran a series of commercials during the Super Bowl when they were about to launch the Pentium II processor (god just typing that makes me realize how long ago…

That's a long distance call, DOUG!