"Founded in 1934, the Massachusetts Restaurant Association (MRA) is a
trusted not-for-profit trade association committed to the advancement of
the food and beverage industry in our state. The MRA helps operators
succeed by providing information, education, government advocacy,
cost-savings programs, and networking…

So Newswire is just abstracting Lou Reed's ramblings these days?  I'm probably ok with that.

I'm sorry, did someone say Paula Deen's favorite Nirvana album thread?!?!?!?

What man could say no to giving the ol' log burning hot tub a good scrubbing?

I thought you were joking, but looking more closely, it really is a model of a model.

I only came here to do two things: kick some ass and double major in Existential Philosophy and Italian Renaissance Art History.  Looks like I just finished my finals in my 500 level courses on Kierkegaard and Titian.

Knowing that these females are fertile makes them more sexually desirable to me.  I will donate money to keep them healthy and increase the chances of our future offspring's survival.

Oh come on.  Sure, the woman's busty, but how much shit can one woman's chest possibly support? I hope the young men in this line are considering the laws of physics.

While he's over there in Europe, he could at the very least do a MIKE D'ANGELO ON THE SISTINE CHAPEL.

"A Spearation" is the one which examines Iran's barbaric practice of not allowing women to leave the country without permission from Britney Spears, right? 

[Slim Pickens emerges from tent, grimaces, clears air by waving cowboy hat]

It's all about the neighborhood.  I live in Columbus and I just sold my tiny, shitty house in my somewhat trendy neighborhood for $130K.  Now I'm trying to get a better, bigger place in a neighborhood with better schools and everything I like is around $300K.   And these ain't mansions.  They are reasonably sized…

Batman's soiled underwear and laundry soap?

I would like to buy a belt and pair of cufflinks made of cocaine please.

I agree that this guy is sublime:

His estranged wife is not dead. She's not even past.

The (Tax) Prevarication of Lauryn Hill

Once you break the seal and piss on Iron Man, it's impossible to get that demon back in the bottle.

"Throwing Copper" era concert footage?  If she's not already dead, that'll finish her off.

It's fitting that, like the title bird, this story rises again. I shall prepare myself for the reread by eating Flamin' Hot Cheetos for the rest of the day (ah, who am I kidding, I was gonna do that anyway)