I could see how being trapped in a lamp/music box/etc. for centuries could leave you as more of a bitter old crank than a manically friendly song-and-dance man.

I always have to wonder about seemingly omnipotent wish-granting beings or magic spells that can alter the very fabric of reality but can't understand simple linguistic idioms. It's like someone turned a text-to-speech program into a god, or in Star Trek terms, if Data became a Q.

Free terrible repercussions, you say? You got it!

Fry, remind me, disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?

I did what I always do when I have too much time on my hands: I started writing another novel. Gonna write some more this afternoon. Eh, at least it'll keep me off the streets.

God rest her zombie bones.

Enough about your promiscuous mother, @avclub-78d66e7514954eb0c2a6a7067a792d66:disqus !

I endorse the first half of this comment.

The Plantain People of Rigel 6 are a proud and noble race!

No and yes respectively.

Do all your internal conflicts play out as Dr. Seuss poems?

That sounds promising. I think she could pull off the character's irrepressible cheeriness easily.

Actually I live on the opposite surface of Mercury, so it's always cold as fuck.

I started writing a third novel, please send help.

Yep, and the prevailing wisdom is that it was considered too similar to Daria (although sending a spinoff of a Nick cartoon to MTV was probably always going to be a hard sell).

Especially Grampa!

I find myself inordinately amused by Dracula's little Ned Flanders mustache there.

You're a bold kid, Saramis, a bold kid.

Any updates on Stoop Kid vis-a-vis his stoop?

I am absurdly hyped for this movie, and it's not about nostalgia. I never took a lot of notice of Hey Arnold! as a kid, but revisiting it as an adult revealed just how much emotional depth there was to the show, which really set it apart from Nick's other (mostly great in their own ways) shows of the time. The…