J. M. W. Turner, the genius British artist (1775-1851) is the Painter of Light.  Other people - proper art critics - called him that.  Not a self-proclaimed epithet, protected by trademark, as in Kinkade's case.  BIG difference.

This series bombed in the UK.  Gervais was so full of it in his blog while it was being filmed, even saying he and Merchant had just written "one of the funniest sketches we've ever done for Life's Too Short. Six hours hard labour for a potential two minutes screen time" (Wonder which one?  Neeson's AIDS riff?) and…

Please, we don't call them 'buttholes' in the UK.  We're far too refined.  Try 'chocolate starfish', 'sheriff's rusty badge', 'Bovril bullet hole', 'tea towel holder', 'nipsy', 'clackervalve', 'cigar cutter', 'clumper' or 'gunga pooch'.  Located not too far from 'John Wayne's hairy saddlebags' if you're a bloke, and…

Yeah, right.  Just the same as the US is just discovering Balearic trance/electropop a la David Guetta, with loads of American stars suddenly recording in its style in the last couple of years: sounds all very dated to us over here because we first had it in the early 90s.  Get with the programme (that's with two ms…

Best Oscar for the costumes.  Just sayin'.

Like British chat show host Jonathan Ross announced on his show: "It's my birthday today, and as a special treat my wife is going to let me do her up the wrong 'un."  I tried to find a YouTube clip but nada.  I remember beer coming out of my nose when he said that.

I like it, but it's just good, not great. I find the teeth of both protagonists so offputting, especially in those merciless close closeups - and I'm from the UK, and naturally have a high tolerance for bad dentistry, so that's saying something.

Sigh.  I'm British, so Dr Who is in my DNA.  I'm also female.  When is Dr Who going to join the 21st century?  When will we have a female doctor and some male companions?  I remember hiding behind the sofa when the Cybermen and Cybermats first were featured - that dates me.  I loved it till I was about 15, then other…

"Even still, the film proves just how little the production code could do to keep sinful content from the screen so long as it played by the rules; its scenes of sinister deviance and eroticism follow the letter of the code while ignoring its intent."  What production code would that be?  If you're thinking the Hays…

Sober as Big Bertha (she liked a drop):

I'm with you there.  I found out about the AV Club through his blog, as he had linked to all the write ups last year for Extras (or was it The Office?  I forget - Todd van der Whatnot did them and they were generally positive).  Anyroads, have you noticed how he hasn't linked to this AV Club set of reviews of Life's…

Best Ray Mears clip ever

Fat Ray Mears' Fat World of Fat Survival.  Yeah, he could live off his blubber for a month, so no stretch there for him out in the wild. I hate Ray fucking Mears.  Watch his programmes and listen to the number of times the pompous twat says things like 'I've been doing this all my life' (er, no you haven't, Ray), and…

I saw it and enjoyed it.  But, it seemed a bit reminiscent of both Once Were Warriors and Whale Rider to me - all three are films that deal with neglected kids in Maori families with alcohol/drugs problems.  There must be other Maori stories out there, surely?

I love the bit in Flight of the Conchords where an Aussie accent is described as 'like an evil version' of the NZ accent.

Bollocks.  Did we hang back and let the authorities take care of it in 1939, when Germany invaded Poland?  Did we buggery.  We got stuck in there - even though the war wasn't even in our own land.  The US waited over two more years -  til the end of 1941, adn only then when its own territory had been attacked - before…

Turbulent priest, dear boy, turbulent priest.

Channel 4 made it.  Just sayin'.

I'm praying Simon will have the good sense to choose an American presenter, rather than foisting another awkward, wooden Brit on the show.  The UK X Factor host, Dermot O'Leary, is spectacularly bad - in our house we have the 'awkward hug-ometer' which goes 'ding' every time he makes an awkward lunge and rushed hug…

http://www.youtube.com/watc…