This thing is fucking bonkers. I love it. It will never be a movie in its original form.

I hope a follow-up episode has him and Carol going to downtown Tuscon and finding like 30 people sitting around waiting for him.

"That part of me was hired by Salon this morning."

It's not rational. They are the only survivors of a humanity-destroying plague. They've both freaked out in irrational ways—hers just happens to be a little more hopeful than drunkenness/suicide.

*Presses "Post Article" button. Nothing happens.*
"Huh, something must have broken the internet again! Probably some greased-up celebrity butt cheeks."

This is America. If a billionaire does it to you, it's wholesome.

Clicking on those links made me sad. J-School 2015: "Intro to Screenshots of Random Twitter Accounts for Cultural Trend Pieces."

Why did they do this to America's sweetheart?

Chili Johns is pretty good, if for some reason you're in Burbank.

I'm not as big a fan as you—and I do really like Ellroy (Wagner's good friend)—but yeah, this review pretends that all Wagner wrote was Scenes from a Class Struggle, when he has gone one to write a half-dozen other L.A.-set novels that are only "Hollywood satire" on their very surfaces.

And that one kid is so cool he's not only named "Stiles" but also wears sunglasses all the time. Fun fact: he was not played by Arye Gross, which is how I always imagine him in my memories of the film.

I'm sure Oliver than strangled a live chicken, butchered it, made nuggets from scratch, and asked the kids, "Who wants these instead?"

Something can be straightforward and pretentious. I meant that the movies have pretensions of intellectual weight that I don't think they actually possess. There's something dilettantish and status-obsessed about Hannah's art- and architecture-talk. Crimes has the clunky blind-rabbi symbolism and the…

As long as Bill Paxton plays a small but crucial role—gym teacher, maybe?—then I'll send my kids.

And to think: three minutes sooner and I would have been the funniest person in the comments section!

Nerds are just like Homer Simpson in hell, gorging on donuts at the Department of Ironic Punishment.

The Mayor does Ethel Beavers. That's not nothing.

If I say yes, does that make me a bad person?

Why would anyone want the most thankless job in American life?

Agreed. I actually think Zelig, Broadway Danny Rose, and Purple Rose of Cairo are three of his best films, and they all came in a row. I also hate the pretentiousness of his Hannah/Crimes period.