Stop giving them ideas.

Andy Griffith got runover by a tow truck.  Driven by George "Goober" Lindsay.  Ironically, it was a Pan Am tow truck.

Oh…TV for botards in other words.

Where's the remake of Sledgehammer?

Just like your tea-swilling, crumpet-scarfing asses couldn't take the Afrika Korps.

The politics of banality have triumphed.

Or fucking a thawed-out turkey.  At a small midwestern liberal arts college.

And Leonardo Price.

Sounds like a job for that batshit insane brunette Ann Coulter clone Republican presidential candidate with a name recognition of at least 12%.  Not the one that shot two of Kate Gosselin's kids in a pantomime caribo suit…I mean the other one.  Since with the cancellation of this show, she no longer has a fallback…

Because she's so uberwaspy.

Be sure to grope your stewardess.  Dammit!  I mean, uh…be sure to fondle your flight attendant.

Then he'll probably have to add poop fetish as well.  And mysterious, unidentifiable discharge fetish, too.

I'll start watching [unironically, of course] if you'll promise me that I get to watch Christina Ricci eating sammiches.

She was recruited because her searing rendition of "Binky" on the matchbook cover drew the attention of the CIA.  That's how the CIA got all of its Cold War era cannon fodder.

Only because she believes that she was once a stewardess.

I thought we were supposed to be dropping steaming piles on this show, not discussing sports.

Shit.  Why haven't these assholes been blown up yet?

How's Ross Perot doing?

Gee, Erik…how egregious was the transgression that earned you the distinction of having to review an episode of Whitney?