**Disney Channel veteran**

Actually, Zendaya might be the name of that pretty, talentless bottom on American Idol I used to fantasize about pounding.

SAD!!!

Portraits of Bush and Cheney behind them. Subtle!

Today we come to praise and bury "the only 20 pounds overweight version of Jonah Hill."

Oh fuck yes… Teller is the 4-way love child of Cruz, Patrick Dempsey, Jay Cutler and Sean Penn. So, like an asshole of epic proportions.

"This Used to Be My Playground" and "I'll Remember" were pretty good, too, but not nearly as fun.

"I'm Officer Marge. I'm gonna arrest you!"

And somehow the acronym BBC is involved yet doesn't have a clear correlation to British television.

Or Austin Powers. The promiscuous character who says "no, thanks" to Beyonce but "yes" to Elizabeth Hurley and Heather Graham.

Hmmm, now that you mention it, between Don Cheadle, Sam Jackson, Idris Elba and Anthony Mackie, do any of their MCU characters have love interests? I assume Chadwick Boseman will have one in the Black Panther movie.

Wear's the rest of hr name lol? Your kidding right?!?

io9?

ISSUE #1: PALL BEARERS

Previously on Varsity Blues…

Then I guess his last name has been mispronounced for 40 years.

Contrary to established belief, that song will hurt my head.

That was damn hilarious.

The new singularity: all pop culture will merge with Seth Rogen.

Did anyone expect Patty Jenkins to say, "Yep, nailed it. We're fucking up with another iconic character as I speak."