We call them sausages in the mouth.

We call them sausages in the mouth.

Hello?  Shakespeare wrote the bible.  Duh.

Hello?  Shakespeare wrote the bible.  Duh.

Every quote ever was said by one of five people: Mark Twain, Shakespere, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr, or Hitler.

Every quote ever was said by one of five people: Mark Twain, Shakespere, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr, or Hitler.

Well, that certainly clears that up.  For a minute there, I thought you were implying that Jonny was somehow riding on your coat tails for the sake of an easy paycheck to feed his pig wife and bastard child, and that he could not do any better than slumming it in America in a poor imitation of your iconic Holmes…

Well, that certainly clears that up.  For a minute there, I thought you were implying that Jonny was somehow riding on your coat tails for the sake of an easy paycheck to feed his pig wife and bastard child, and that he could not do any better than slumming it in America in a poor imitation of your iconic Holmes…

Wow, O'Neal.  You somehow managed to kill, like, six of my dreams in one article.  Might as well have capped it off by telling me my dad put that dollar under my pillow.

Wow, O'Neal.  You somehow managed to kill, like, six of my dreams in one article.  Might as well have capped it off by telling me my dad put that dollar under my pillow.

That statement offends my core beliefs, and I would thank you to take that blasphemy elsewhere, heathen.

That statement offends my core beliefs, and I would thank you to take that blasphemy elsewhere, heathen.

Those buttons on his jacket look like refrigerator magnets. 

Those buttons on his jacket look like refrigerator magnets. 

That's Gross!

That's Gross!

The only real TV gold is Tracey Gold.

The only real TV gold is Tracey Gold.

No, I would not watch a Louis CK talk show.  You know why?  Because nobody watches those things.  All those people who say they do?  Liars.  The whole lot of them.  I can't remember the last time someone said to me, "Hey, you catch Letterman last night?  His Top 10 killed it!"

No, I would not watch a Louis CK talk show.  You know why?  Because nobody watches those things.  All those people who say they do?  Liars.  The whole lot of them.  I can't remember the last time someone said to me, "Hey, you catch Letterman last night?  His Top 10 killed it!"